(Warning, if you haven’t read this entry - you probably won’t understand the following post)

Megan came back from Boston and went into her bedroom for the next 4 or 5 months and really only came out to go to work or go somewhere with mom and I. She was depressed, that was obvious. Although, she did try to hide it. She even contacted the University and got them to agree to hold her spot until the following fall. Talk about a lucky break.

That was 4 years ago. Megan didn’t return to B.U. We watched, helplessly, as her goals and dreams slipped further away. Everyone tried to help from one angle or another. Megan became more unhappy and at times angry, lashing out at our younger brother, my mom, me, and even my kids. Not something I tolerated… everyone else seemed to just step around her as if walking on eggshells. Not something I chose to do.

I think in some ways I’m considered to be “too blunt” by my family. My mom is very eloquent and diplomatic, when I view a situation as serious I tend to just call a spade a spade, diplomacy be damned. It was in that vein that, more than once, I let Megan know that she was abusing the people around her because she was so obviously miserable.

That almost makes it sound as if we didn’t get along, but we really did. Blow ups were rare and, truthfully, what family doesn’t have their disagreements? With us… we’d blow up… talk it out… and life would move on. We begged, encouraged, and cajoled Megan to go back to school. My mom drove her to Irvine to visit Cal Arts and investigate their Masters program with absolutely no result whatsoever.

In the meantime Megan worked at a local grocery store and obviously, had more education in her little finger than 99% of the employees had in their whole bodies. Still, as most grocery stores go - seniority ruled and she was low down on the food chain. The rest of her time was spent working for the local community theater and working for all the big-name concerts that came into town via the local civic center (concert hall). She lived at home because she didn’t make enough to live alone on her own.

Mom, Megan and I had lunch together at least once a week. Every Friday Megan and I would take Maggie to the mall and hang out. We always had a great time and I looked forward to hanging out with her. Even though a lot of things seemed to be wrong in Megan’s life, I was proud of our relationship, that we had both matured and had a friendship relationship beyond that of just being sisters. Megan took Kate to the theater with her and everyone called Kate “Mini-Me” because she and my sister look just alike (thin, cute, red-heads). Kate adored her and lovingly called her “Meg” or “Aunt Meg.”

Maggie adored Megan too. We spent many an afternoon trying to coax Maggie to walk. Megan would bribe her with chocolate or cookies to get her to walk across the room to her.

Ethan and GJ were another issue. They had grown up around Megan. She was only 12 years older than them. When the boys started to get taller and hit puberty they began to resent Megan being bossy and treating them as if they were still 5 or 6. It was as if she didn’t want to accept that they were growing up.

Last February, Megan began hanging around a couple of people she met at the local theater. They both seemed to have issues and Megan was constantly running out the door to go “rescue” someone. She was never around anymore and avoided the entire family like the plague, specifically, Mom and I. She was always too busy to have lunch or even spend a couple of hours at the mall. Pretty soon she wasn’t coming home at night, she’d come in early get ready for work and run out the door. Last Easter she left to go meet her friends… on Easter! Pretty soon she was gone all the time and only ran in to pick up more clothes, DVDs, etc.

We figured Megan had some friends of her own that she was enjoying. We chalked our discomfort up to feeling “left out.” Mom and I told each other that maybe we were a little annoyed that Megan wasn’t always just “there” like she had been before. For a while that worked. But, it soon became apparent that something strange was going on. Megan had a complete personality change. She became distant and cold. Worse yet, she absolutely refused to introduce her new friends to anyone in the family. For the longest time, she wouldn’t even tell my mom where she was staying. Just that she was “staying with friends.”

Update - click here for part 3

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