I’ve noticed that there are several different things running around for the different days of the week… I’ve decided to make Friday my “Favorite Post Friday” and post links to some of my favorite posts from other bloggers for the week. Feel free to join in and be sure and let me know if you do!

And, since I literally just pulled this one out of my rear during a half-dozing moment, I don’t have any real guidelines, so I’m just going to list three of my favorite posts for this week.

Favorite Posts for Week of 06/25 - 06/30:

Excerpts from the Doctor’s Visit- Subtitled “Bonanza is ALWAYS a Pain in the Ass”

True Wife Confessions Base 10

Festivus - my favorite part, �We�ve learned to lay him at the top of a hill so it runs away from him.� - you’ll just have to go read it to see what that’s all about.

Related Tags: Favorite Post Friday, Bonanza Jellybean, True Wife Confessions, Enter The Laughter, Festivus, Fridays

Ginger Beck at Baby Jane Blogs is so incredibly talented, guys! Not only did she create my oh-so-gorgeous template here that I love so much, but she was kind enough to create a blog for my friend, Jan, who is expecting her first baby in January!!!

If you get the chance you have GOT to see this work of art at Baby Salsedo!

And… Congratulations Jan and Scott - that is going to be one gorgeous baby!

Related Tags: Ginger Beck, Baby Jane Blogs, blog templates, Baby announcements, New baby

I know, it’s been a while… anyway - here’s a special holiday edition! Happy HNT!

Related Tags: HNT, Half-Nekkid Thursday, 4th of July

Well, you know.

Anyway, I’ve always avoided doing this because I’m incredibly insecure and afraid that no one will respond.

So, here I am… asking for your opinions.

You may know that I purchased the domain name www.amysmusings.com (update your blogroll or link if you have linked to me please) which at the moment forwards to amyhbp.blogspot.com - I’m purchasing hosting and am going to put this blog there. I may have to have the blog redesigned because I’m not sure if my beautiful template here will transfer over to a new blogging program.

Now the question…

What blog software do you use (ie. Wordpress, Expression Engine, MT, etc.)?
And, what made you choose that software?

Please?

Thanks in advance!

*** Update! ***

I just know you guys are sitting around, biting your fingernails, dying to know what I settled on… LOL yeah, right, sure.

I really appreciate everyone’s help and advice… you guys are just so great.

I’ve decided to go with Wordpress… I’ll be letting you guys know as soon as it’s ready to go so that links can be changed over and yada yada yada.

Thanks again!!!

**************

Related Tags: opinions, blogging software, blog, Wordpress, MT, Expression Engine, Movable Type, Amy’s Musings

Confession #053
You know how I tell you to roll over when you snore? Sometimes when I am pissed off with you I tell you to roll over even when you are not snoring just so I can watch you mindlessly obey me.

Sheriff’s deputy mistakes pistol for Taser -
Man reluctant to leave tree is shot, reportedly says, ‘Ow, that hurt’

Star Jones told not to return to “The View” - Star is Frankenstein… she’s an out of control monster media whore… strange books, odd looking husband, freebie wedding… I used to think she had a brain but apparently it is overshadowed and outnumbered by her ego.

Related Tags: Star Jones, The View, ABC, Taser, Sheriffs, True Wife Confessions, Snoring husbands

Last year for the 4th of July we rented a house over at the beach for the weekend. This year we are in our new house and plan to celebrate at home with a traditional 4th of July barbecue.

Growing up my family always had 4th of July at my grandparent’s house. Burgers, macaroni salad, and home-made vanilla ice cream. We usually ate the ice cream while planted on a blanket in the backyard watching the fireworks.

Both my grandma and my mom had this fear of one of us managing to set our hair or other body part on fire. The ice cream was the start to keeping us ON the blanket at a safe distance from the potential carnage. Should the ice cream fail to keep us seated they had a list of threats and scare tactics to ensure that we did NOT get off the blanket until the show was over.

My grandparent’s had a huge backyard, so we could enjoy a private firework show without the nuisance of streetlights and neighbors. Once we’d finished with the backyard show we went to the frontyard to do sparklers and light those crazy spinning flowers.

I have an odd-shaped scar on the back of my thigh from a traumatic 4th of July. I’m trying to recall how old I was, as I don’t remember this at all, thank goodness. I suppose I was either 1 1/2 or 2 1/2 (my mother will undoubtedly read this and correct me)… I was sitting on the curb with my mom watching the flowers in the front yard when one came whizzing over and leapt up, adhering itself to the back of my leg.

My mom looked down and saw what to her looked like her baby on fire. She jumped up and proceeded to smack the hell out of my leg in an attempt to put the flame out. The rest of the family having not seen the rogue flower firework ambush me, thought she had lost her mind and was beating me as she raced by them running for the backdoor still smacking my leg.

Apparently the plastic from the firework burned into my skin and I guess they had to rip it off. Again, I’m thrilled to have absolutely no recollection of this at all. But I do have an odd round scar with what appears to be an astrisk filling it.

I grew up with a healthy fear of those things even though I couldn’t remember the incident. I wonder if it has anything to do with my mother screaming, “STAY ON THE GRASS, DO NOT GO ON THE SIDEWALK!!!!!!” every 4th of July after that.

To this day she still does it… only she’s yelling at her grandkids now.

Related Tags: 4th of July, Independance Day, Family, Barbecue, Grandkids, accidents, fireworks

A truly guilty pleasure…
One of the most juicy, blogs I’ve ever read…

True Wife Confessions

And, no, I do not have a confession there… yet. I mentioned this to my husband last night at dinner. He said, “Oh, I’m sure you have hundreds you could send in.”

He really has no clue. ;o)

By the way… have you ever been invited to a Ninja Block Party? It’s pretty funny, definitely not your normal barbecue, chip and dip affair.

Related Tags: True Wife Confessions, Ninja Block Party, Jalepeno Burns, Gossip

Let’s take a moment to recap my week, shall we?

1. I started my week off by annoying tagging 5 people with a meme.
2. I pissed off a not-angry atheist
3. I rented a spot to a Transvestite Terrorist
4. I’ve laughed about some poor women nearly biting off her man’s naughty bits after he burned the crap out of her accidentally.

It’s official… if hell exists I’ve reserved my spot.

Where is all of this coming from?

I’ll tell you… it’s from being left ALONE with a two-year old. The resident demon toddler has hatched the perfect plan to slowly drive me insane. She now pulls a chair over to her high chair, climbs into the high chair and begins yelling at me like an annoyed restaurant patron with a slow waitress.

The first few times I had to stop and think, trying to remember if I had put her in the high chair and forgotten about her. Which is not something I have done in the past, but the way the last couple of months have been…

The good news is that Britney Spears is still a worse mom than I am. I didn’t put the kid in the high chair and forget about her. But, I’m fairly certain she wanted me to think that I did.

Now, I say, left ALONE with a two-year old. That’s because her brother and sister (whom she worships and adores) are still on the east coast with their Nana. A 16 day trip that leaves me to find a way to entertain a demon toddler who is very used to having an older sister wrap her every spare moment around her. Maggie having a devoted older sister is both a blessing and a curse, for me.

Earlier this week I heard her chatting happily about one of her stuffed animals. I had my back to her and since there was no sound of anything breaking, she wasn’t crying, or worse yet, being quiet, I assumed all was well. After all, she was on the couch right behind me.

Turns out she was giggling happily as she climbed onto the back of the couch, under the blinds and into the front window. I turned around to see her precariously perched on the window sill under the blinds posing several problems the top few being:

1. Smudge marks from grubby little hands on my brand new window.
2. One slip and she would fall backward probably taking my very expensive, professionally installed, wood blinds with her.
3. The entire neighborhood seeing our demon baby appearing quite unsupervised making a complete spectacle of herself in our FRONT window!

I untangled her, pulled her down and she happily ran off in search of the next catastrophe. It’s going to be a long 16 days.

Related Tags: toddlers, parenting, toddler, kids, vacation

It seems like there are a lot of new moms out here on the net and many women in the baby-making process. I just wanted to give my two cents worth in the mom department.

1. Exercise is important. While doctors and other experts love to emphasize kegels, I feel that another important exercise is often forgotten. Stand in your kitchen or bathroom, take a towel and put it on the floor, point your toe and put it on the towel, now begin swiping back and forth or in circles if your prefer. Do this as often as possible now to prevent cramping up later when you find yourself cleaning up various forms of vomit and other spilled liquids.

2. While silence is golden… it’s also a sure sign of catastrophe. There is no such thing as a “toddler playing quietly” if a toddler is quiet they are undoubtedly sharpening their graffiti skills on your brand new, freshly painted walls with a black sharpie.

3. Counting… yep, we all learned to count to ten, twenty and a hundred. We learned to count by 2’s, 5’s, and 10’s. As a mother you will continue to count… to three. You won’t get any further than that and if you do your job right, you won’t have to count much past one.

4. The importance of a good sense of smell. Dirty diapers aside, being able to smell will be a life-saver when it comes to unexpected goo globules on the floor. Guaranteed there are going to be things that you’ll want to smell instead of actually touching so that you will be able to ascertain the best way to clean it up.

5. You may be an immaculate housekeeper, on a bad day it might still be possible to eat off your floor safely… kudos to you, but I guarantee that a crawling baby will bring new insight to housekeeping. You’ve never noticed all the nooks and crannies crap can get into until you see your 9 month old carefully extracting “something” out of one and cramming it into his/her mouth.

And these are just 5 obscure, little heard of things that I could come up with to caution you. I’ve been doing the mom thing for almost 15 years, it’s a life-sentence wonderful experience that makes you all the more enthusiastic about encouraging your friends to get pregnant and join you in your special misery joy. The truth is, you never get used to it, you never become a Mommy-Master, you just get better at hiding how inept you really are.

***

Related Tags: baby, pregnancy, pregnant, new moms, moms, mothers, motherhood, parenting

then it’s freaking hilarious.

Sorry, but you already knew I have an evil streak, right? I admit, I laughed OUT LOUD over this one. And, I can see something like this happening to the Darwin Award Nominees across the street. (I might have to stop mentioning them because my son has me absolutely paranoid that they might find this blog. Damn Ethan!! Like his father, he is beginning to try and ruin my fun!)

My choice in new renter could be attributed to the fact that I was listening to GreenDay’s “King For A Day” while sifting through the bidders. Although, that song is no reflection of him personally, at least I don’t think it is, I mean, I’ve never met the guy but considering that his current post was “Transvestite Terrorist” perhaps there was a strange subconscious connection made. I’ll just put that in my “things that make you go hmmmmm…” category for now.

Sometimes, I write things that I think are absolutely hilarious. My husband will think they are hmph-able (which is that thing between a smile and a laugh) and my mom will be the ultimate Debbie Downer and say, “Yes, I read your blog. Yes, I saw that post, hmm-mm.”

This usually convinces me that I am the only one in my universe with a sense of humor.

Related Tags: kinky, sex, jalepeno burns, rent my blog, blog explosion, Green Day, King For A Day, Darwin Awards