I can decide that just fine on my own, fuck you very much.

Ummm, no. Ok, just NO. Who the hell in their right mind decides what is or is not appropriate for me or anyone else to see? I’m 30 damn years old, if I want to sit up all night, drink cokes, eat M&Ms, and watch JACKASS over and over again THAT IS MY BUSINESS. If I want to PAY $10 for a ticket to sit through 2 hours of bodily functions, mousetraps snapping on crotches, and fireworks shooting out of someone’s ass - that is MY MONEY and MY BUSINESS.

Yes, this is in reference to an article about a theater owner closing his theater rather than show Jackass 2. Regardless of your personal opinion of Jackass - it does NOT mean that you have the right to force YOUR opinion on other people.*

It is not the job of some pious, self-righteous, asshole with a superiority complex to decide what I should or should not be seeing (the same goes for the FCC as far as I am concerned). If I want to PAY for a TICKET to a see a damn movie, take my money, give me a ticket and SHUT THE HELL UP. You are running a BUSINESS to make money (even if you claim not to “need” the money - per the article) so, take the patrons money and let them make the decisions as to what is or is not appropriate for them. You want to card every jackass who wants a ticket, fine… but don’t prevent people from watching because… guess what… some other theater owner will be more than happy to take their money, most likely the corporate owned theaters that are putting all the Mom and Pop shops out of business anyway.

It always blows my mind to read about people who think that God entrusted them personally with the responsibility to decide what the masses should or should not be exposed to. Worse yet, to somehow believe that their personal opinion is what is for the good of everyone.

Yep, if I see someone shoot a firecracker out their ass I’m either going to turn gay or run out and get an abortion. WHOOOPPEEEEE!!!!!!

Say what you want about Jackass, for me, there are a several portions of the show and movie that I don’t care to see either because it’s a little too graphic or disgusting. That being said, there have been several parts that have had me laughing my ass off. So, I’m really not for or against this movie.

But, there have been movies that I didn’t care for either because they were too violent, too depressing, or both, that’s MY opinion, it doesn’t mean that NO ONE should see them just because I didn’t care for the content or concept. Personally, I think that parts of Pulp Fiction were far more disgusting, traumatic, and violent than anything you’ll find on Jackass, but that’s MY opinion, I wouldn’t prevent someone from seeing Pulp Fiction.

Except my children, obviously, and I do a good enough job of shielding them from that sort of thing on my own, I don’t need a theater owner doing it for me.

*Yes, I am well aware of the fact that a theater owner has the right to show or not show whichever films he chooses. This does not make it right.

We’re just finishing up for the night… er… morning. Whatever.

Actual conversation tonight…

Mike: Did you…?

(… = I have no clue because I wasn’t really listening.)

Me: Uh… no, I don’t think so.

Mike: Well, then you’re fired.

Me: Oh good. PLEASE FIRE MY ASS. Wait, wait… I wasn’t HIRED… that’s right, I was DRAFTED to this HELLHOLE/SWEATSHOP. So, please… FIRE ME. It’s not like I get paid anyway.

Mike: *some sort of grumble* (again, I’m not listening)

Me: Yeah, that’s right, I don’t get paid. I have to embezzle funds to get anything.

Mike: And it doesn’t look like you are doing that bad of a job at it either.

*blink* *blink*

Me: So, is this some sort of a commentary on the endless string of UPS trucks that stop by here?

Mike: That and other things.

Me: Well, those deliveries are all part of my investment program. I’m working on Suburban Beautification. And… guess what my next project is? That would be Offspring Improvement. Which is my technical term for “THE KIDS NEED NEW CLOTHES.”

Mike: grumble… grumble.

Me: That’s right… that’s right… just open your wallet and shut your damn mouth.

Ever wonder if Bug gets this bitchy with The Hotness?

Check out my new renter, Bug of An Indian Summer. She’s also in my blogroll and I’m her current renter as well. It’s kind of fun when things work out that way… so skip on over there and enjoy the latest adventures of Bug and The Hotness. It’s guaranteed to give you a grin.

In other breaking news (starting to feel a bit like Tina Fey on SNL here… *pause* Oh, I’m going to miss Tina Fey at the newsdesk) Miss Britt is back up and running folks!! After experiencing blog-loss, she has been through the five steps of blog grief: denial, anger, guilt, lack of places to vent, and finally healing through blog replacement. The good news is that Miss Britt is back with her own domain, brand new look (Seasonally fashionable, of course) and WP… go visit her and let her know how much you missed her, please!!!

My current thoughts on the fall premieres:

Studio 60:
I watched the premiere and I was absolutely GLUED. I loved it. Who’d have thought that Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry would make such a great team! They really have great chemistry and I think if this show takes off, it’s going to be great.

Las Vegas:
Is it just me or has Vegas gotten kind of… hmm… sucky? I used to love that show, I love James Caan and Cheryl Ladd playing his wife is too cute! Of course, Josh Duhamel is gorgeous… but I think ultimately it really screwed that show to move it to Fridays.

Gilmore Girls:
I can’t be the only person a little worried over the whole behind the scenes personnel change. Amy Sherman-Palladino IS Lorelai Gilmore… so what are we going to do now that she and Daniel aren’t navigating the ship anymore? I’m not thrilled with how last season left us with Lorelai in bed with Christopher… I swear if they don’t wrap it up rapidly with she and Luke I’m considering not watching anymore. I’ve hung with this show since the beginning and I don’t like shows that frustrate the viewers purposely.

**Update - Watched the premiere last night and it stunk. The writing was not the same, the dialogue was not as crisp, Lorelai seemed out of character, all the characters seemed like watered-down versions of themselves. And, the way it all ended… suffice it to say, I won’t be watching anymore. I’ve never missed an episode from the very first and to have it go like this, is frustrating, so I’m done.

Veronica Mars:
Our whole family is eagerly anticipating it’s return in October. This show is AWESOME. So well-written and just, well, great. If you haven’t seen Season 1 - then go rent it, buy it, whatever - if you like good mysteries and great dialogue - this is your show.

I’m pretty darn stoked about it, myself. I’ve been dying to do something seasonal on my blog and here it is!

My brother is in Varsity Choir (Chorale? Chorus? Whatever…) and this weekend he has a nature retreat at a ranch about an hour from here in the mountains, so that the Choir (Chorale? Chorus? WhatEVER!) can bond.

Somehow, he’s talked my mom into going… and my mom doesn’t DO outdoor “camping” sorts of things anymore. When I was a kid we camped, we slept in tents, we took the family RV… now my mom rents cabins (and NOT the rustic sort), beach houses, and hotel rooms. The thought of my mom in a sleeping bag now cracks me up. (sorry, Mom, but come ON!)

The ranch is up near the area where Mike grew up hunting with his dad in the mountains. It’s also a short drive from the spot where we take the kids hiking severa times a year.

I was on the phone with my mom as she read over the details of the rustic ranch, complete with descriptions of hay pitching, egg gathering, and sleeping out under the stars.

Mom: There’s a lake up there?

Me: Well there’s a pond, with apple orchards and… uh… a lot of bear shit.

Mom: Bear shit?

Me: Right. Big…

Mom: Big shit???

Me: Right, from big, uh… bears.

Mom: Oh, I’m not liking this.

Me: Just watch the Discovery Channel and they should have some special on dealing with bears. If you see a bear you…

Mom: You run.

Me: No, no, no. You don’t run. You make yourself as big as possible and you roar like this, “ARRRRRRRRRUUUUGHGHGHGH!!!!!” And, if that doesn’t work, you shoot it. Right, Mike?

Mike: *snoring on couch*

Me: Mike… MIKE!!!!!

Mike: *grumble* Huh?

Me: What do you do when you see a bear in the woods, Mike?

Mike: You shoot it.

Me: See, Mom, you shoot it, unless you are a nature lover, like me…

Mike: Then you take a picture and hope the bear doesn’t shove the camera up your ass.

Me: I’m getting a chinchilla. You don’t get it, I’M THE CAT PERSON (careful not to say CAT LADY and bring on all the strange stereotypes) - most cats have always preferred ME, I’m a cat person, I understand them, I respect them. Yet, THIS cat apparently prefers YOU, which means she’s either stupid or I’ve lost my touch. Since I cannot have EITHER… I’m getting a damn chinchilla.

Mike: Maybe she just senses my zen vibe.

Me: Zen, vibe? What ZEN vibe?

Mike: Hey, I can’t help it, I put off a relaxed, zen vibe.

Me: You put something off, that’s for sure.

Ok, the holidays are around the corner and before you start throwing things at me for even mentioning it… I HAD to show you this. I have been tossing the idea around in my little brain most of the summer (yes, another reason to hate me, I think about CHRISTMAS in the summer!)

Here it is:

My new holiday section at Amusings

Which includes the following designs:

And, yes, I even have a Squidoo Lens on the whole Christmas thing.

Ok, and now to Favorite Post Friday…

Just one more reason to totally looooove Miss Ann.

Another reason why Bonanza is officially my hero!!! This woman ROCKS!

Thanks everybody who took the time to wish Mike a Happy Birthday! We typically stretch our birthday celebrations out for about a week… so we’re still celebrating around here. 75% of the time I’d love to throttle the hell out of him, but OH MY that other 25%

Anyway, I’m sorry I haven’t been responding to comments regularly or commenting on my regular reads as often as I used to… the Birthday Boy has me pretty busy these days.

A special Birthday HNT!!!

Happy birthday, darling! You get sexier every year!!!

If you have a moment… shoot him a Happy Birthday email - he’s had a rough month!

mike at ascotappraisals DOT com

OK, so I totally lagged today. My bad, I apologize.

I got the cat to come out from under the bed… now she’s under the couch in the livingroom.

When I haven’t been chasing comforting cats, I’ve been attending to a sick 2 year old.

Oh, AND… I got my hair cut. Here I was all growing it out and had it the longest it has been since Kate was 2. So what did I do? I whacked it off. Not bad… a nice, sleek, bob which I think is rather cute. I might even post pictures. Maybe. (It’s more likely that I’ll post a pic of the new ‘do than the old zit.) The funny thing (I think) is that my husband has been nagging the hell out of me to cut it… seriously. You know how most morons guys like long hair? Apparently, my husband is not one of those guys. Go me.

Beyond this… I’ve got nothing. Other than yesterday was my sister’s 27th birthday. I didn’t get her anything. I haven’t spoken to her since… I don’t remember, and while I’d like to say, gee, I miss her and what-not, the truth is, I don’t. She’s said a lot of nasty, hurtful things to my mom, she has nothing to do with any of us and, quite frankly, until she can act like herself and not some twisted, tattood, freak-ass, version of herself, I don’t want her around anyway.

And, that’s all I’ve got folks.

Carry on.