Dear Neighbors… If You Read This
(Thank you, Miss Britt, for the title inspiration, and no, still no zit pic. Bite me. The same goes for you too, Joe!)
Mike is almost convinced that the neighbors (aka Mr. & Mrs. Darwin, aka Future Darwin Award Nominees) have found my blog, saw their picture and now hate us. My thoughts? I really don’t give shit and fuck them anyway. I’m all up for love thy neighbor, as long as said neighbor doesn’t annoy the hell out of me with early morning birthday parties blaring “Disney Princess” music.
And, I’m the kind of gal who LIKES Disney… just not blaring stupid songs at 8am on a freaking SATURDAY morning. Freaks.
So, anyway, I find it hard to believe that The DAN Family (still working out nicknames, but wanting to stick with Darwin Award Nominees) might have found my little ‘ol pea-pickin’ blog and decided to have a little hate campaign.
Furthermore, Mike is the kind of guy who is incredibly likeable and is very distraught (ok, that’s being dramatic, it’s more like “put out”) when someone appears to not adore the ever-lovin’ hell out of him. Me? Eh… I couldn’t care less.
Know what I really think? And, don’t get me wrong, but I think Miss Ann and CrazyLady would not only appreciate the following theory, but probably sympathize with it as well, same goes for KG and most likely Bonanza… I’d suggest Miss Britt, but we all know how she is anyway and I think it can go without saying. Marti, on the other hand, is a part-time pumpkin farmer, lives out in the country and I’m fairly certain this is the case because she probably doesn’t much care for neighbors either. But, I am clearly digressing here…
My theory? They are Cul-De-Sac People. You know… those Cul-De-Sac Cliques that seem to form? When I was growing up, there were the kids “on the block” and the kids “in the cul-de-sac” we lived on the corner, which always made me feel rather superior anyway.
Nevertheless, they have formed some sort of Cul-De-Sac clique. How do I know? Well… the cul-de-sac people ONLY hang out with the other cul-de-sac people, they formed some sort of strange cul-de-sac 4th of July party (probably because they envied how adorable my front yard looked), and they appear to constantly hop back and forth to each other’s houses. Now, before you start to suggest (like my cousin did) that I am carrying childhood baggage and projecting it on to the CDS people, let me assure you that this isn’t the case because WE aren’t the only people they ignore or are rude to.
Remember Nick and Jessica (The Newlyweds next door)? (Sidenote- I’m thinking I should change that nickname because it seems kind of mean… in a funny way, still it’s too funny, I think I’m keeping it.) Nick and Jessica are really, really sweet and very nice (plus they are cute enough to give you cavities, I swear!) and whenever they smile and wave to the cul-de-sac people… the CDS people IGNORE them or offer a so-weak-it-needs-viagra wave. Which, incidentally, is the same thing they do to us.
There, I rest my case… without a doubt, they are just strange CDS people, they did not find my blog. Besides they don’t even know our names…
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September 18, 2006 @ 10:23 am
Can we get a photo of exactly where we should be biting you?
September 18, 2006 @ 10:38 am
what are these neighbour things you speak of?
September 18, 2006 @ 12:11 pm
Oh my lord, I never noticed the CDC people, but you are so right! We are block people, and the cul-de-sac people, right beside us, behave the same. That fine. Us block people have way more fun anyway.
September 18, 2006 @ 2:33 pm
Just a side bit of information for you, the plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac.
September 18, 2006 @ 6:43 pm
Joe :shock:
Miss Ann Ahhhh, I wish I could be Cleopatra on a river of Denial.
CrazyLady AHA!! See it’s not just me with this theory, is it?!?!? I knew it… I KNEW IT!!!!
And, you are right… block people have WAY more fun, hence the term, “Block Party” not “Cul-De-Sac Party”
Robin Y That just might come in handy… thanks!
September 19, 2006 @ 4:41 am
It’s a cult those CDS people. Stay as far away from them as possible and it goes without saying that they will continue to be blog fodder.
I too have a “CDS” stalker and it gives me great pleasure to see “it” check my site 5 times a day and try to leave anon nasty comments. These CDS people are not as smart as they believe themsleves to be.
September 19, 2006 @ 7:28 am
I want to be a Cul-de-Sac groupie. I always rather enjoy being superior to those around me.
Yes, i can imagine myself now turning up my nose at you common Block People.
September 19, 2006 @ 9:33 am
LMAO! When I first met The Hotness’s brother one of the first things he said to me were “Non speaking neighbors are the best kind.”
I found that to be true, then again the houses on either side of me are occupied by Mexican families that “no habla english” to begin with so I guess we have a head start *chuckle*
There’s a sure fire way to find out if they found this place, just buy one of those “I’m Blogging This” t-shirts, put it on, and then go over to their house and ask to borrow some sugar. Gauge the facial reaction and you’ll get your anwser ;)
September 23, 2006 @ 4:29 pm
Gawd, I am so lame, I didn’t even see this post until today - LOL
I am SO glad I live out in the sticks! It is worth the occasional electricity outage and no cable to not have any neighbors! I would go insane…hell I get the shakes when we go visit the in laws and pass by those creepy cul de sacs - LOL
Thanks for a great post - sorry I was so late!
PS, I put a pic of our pumpkin patch up on the Pumpkin Squidoo - just for you! (oh gawd I’m rhyming, that’s bad…I need a drink - LOL!)
Have a great weekend hon!
October 25, 2006 @ 7:01 am
Great answers!
I snore so loud I wake MYSELF up - LOL
I sing Christmas carols all year long, anywhere - LOL
My kids were all bald but cute as buttons.
It’s 40 degrees and cloudy here - brrrr…
I plead the 5th too LOL
The “Head On = apply directly to the forehead” is the most annoying commercial ever made in the history of TV LOL
Hope your power is back on! Thanks for sharing. Everyone here has the flu - they are ALL home …where’s the tequila? LOL
October 25, 2006 @ 8:35 am
Yes, yes I can. It’s eerie how well you know me.
October 25, 2006 @ 11:54 am
i cannot BELIEVE how many people have not seen Donnie Darko!
October 25, 2006 @ 12:52 pm
I also shower after baths. Weird! But I just don’t like the idea of being in a tub of my own filth. Yuck.
October 25, 2006 @ 2:04 pm
You Christmas people scare me a little.