Nature Lovers
My brother is in Varsity Choir (Chorale? Chorus? Whatever…) and this weekend he has a nature retreat at a ranch about an hour from here in the mountains, so that the Choir (Chorale? Chorus? WhatEVER!) can bond.
Somehow, he’s talked my mom into going… and my mom doesn’t DO outdoor “camping” sorts of things anymore. When I was a kid we camped, we slept in tents, we took the family RV… now my mom rents cabins (and NOT the rustic sort), beach houses, and hotel rooms. The thought of my mom in a sleeping bag now cracks me up. (sorry, Mom, but come ON!)
The ranch is up near the area where Mike grew up hunting with his dad in the mountains. It’s also a short drive from the spot where we take the kids hiking severa times a year.
I was on the phone with my mom as she read over the details of the rustic ranch, complete with descriptions of hay pitching, egg gathering, and sleeping out under the stars.
Mom: There’s a lake up there?
Me: Well there’s a pond, with apple orchards and… uh… a lot of bear shit.
Mom: Bear shit?
Me: Right. Big…
Mom: Big shit???
Me: Right, from big, uh… bears.
Mom: Oh, I’m not liking this.
Me: Just watch the Discovery Channel and they should have some special on dealing with bears. If you see a bear you…
Mom: You run.
Me: No, no, no. You don’t run. You make yourself as big as possible and you roar like this, “ARRRRRRRRRUUUUGHGHGHGH!!!!!” And, if that doesn’t work, you shoot it. Right, Mike?
Mike: *snoring on couch*
Me: Mike… MIKE!!!!!
Mike: *grumble* Huh?
Me: What do you do when you see a bear in the woods, Mike?
Mike: You shoot it.
Me: See, Mom, you shoot it, unless you are a nature lover, like me…
Mike: Then you take a picture and hope the bear doesn’t shove the camera up your ass.
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September 26, 2006 @ 6:59 am
I can actually picture someone finding your mutilated body in the woods somewhere, clutching a digital camera.
But I bet those last pictures would be AMAZING!!
September 26, 2006 @ 9:09 am
LMFAO! The mental picture of having a bear shove a camera up someones ass is too friggen funny!
September 26, 2006 @ 9:49 am
lmao! this reminds me of the “messin with sasquatch” commercial…. :razz:
September 26, 2006 @ 10:29 am
I’ll be sure to keep a watch on the news for “Woman found mauled by bear - photos from womans own camera at 11″
September 27, 2006 @ 9:15 am
Is it a camera shy bear? Or maybe a bear that just had cubs and doesn’t want its picture taken? Either way, tell your mom to steer clear of the bears.
October 31, 2006 @ 8:18 am
Holy crap woman! Your house looks awesome! We only have two punkin’s and a stupid dangly witch thing *chuckle* Thanks a bunch for the ecard, it made me giggle :)
Happy Halloween!
October 31, 2006 @ 9:53 am
those tombstones are fabulous!
October 31, 2006 @ 10:14 am
Holy shit that looks AWESOME!!! And that wreath? Gorgeous (and BTW, I make my own autumn AND Christmas wreaths so simmer down m’kay? ;-))
Wendy and Tinkerbell… how perfect. I expect pictures!!!
October 31, 2006 @ 1:31 pm
A very spoooooky front yard. We had spiderwebs and tombstones, until the 40 mile an hour winds last week. now my garbage has the spiderwebs (full of leaves) and the tombstones are somewhere in Timbuctu.
November 1, 2006 @ 7:26 am
Oh very festive!!! Great job!