What Would I Do For A Million Dollars?
Aside from the fact that I’m faced with a nasty bout of blogger’s block (similar to writer’s block) - I was not about to let my dear friend, Marti, down. I adore Marti, she’s very real, very naughty, and pretty freaking funny on a regular basis. This particular question was in reference to her latest Squidoo Lens, which is pretty interesting.
Sooooo, now that I’ve carefully managed to avoid the question, I guess I’m left with no other choice than to answer it.
First off, I have to consider what those morons contestants on Survivor have gone through for a million dollars. Would I do that? Ummmm, no. Although, it does seem like a great way to lose weight AND be completely miserable.
I would never hurt another person or commit a criminal act. A misdemeanor, sure, but not a felony. That pretty much excludes killing someone or cheating on my spouse.
It seems that in answering this question it is easier to list what I wouldn’t do for a million dollars. Which isn’t the question, unfortunately.
So what WOULD I do for a million dollars?
Streak (although, seriously, NO ONE would PAY to see that)
Eat nothing but brussel sprouts for a week.
Porn… for a million dollars…. hmmmm, I’d consider it. (And, yes, I would consider PORN different than CHEATING on my spouse, the former implies full knowledge of what I am about to do, the latter implies sneaky, underhanded dealings with the intention of being dishonest.)
Spend one night in a notoriously haunted house, alone.
For some reason this question always seems to garner responses indicating how “low” a person might stoop for financial compensation. So, here are a few more things that might not necessarily be considered bad things:
Watch “When Harry Met Sally” back to back for a week straight.
Listen to nothing but Harry Connick Jr. music for a month.
Watch nothing but news channels for a week straight.
Read “War and Peace”
Write a book.
And, that’s all I’ve got, but I have no doubt that there will be other bloggers who will come up with far better answers than these. In fact, I already know of one. And, I am secure and comfortable in the knowledge that no matter what I attempt to do she will be able to do it better and leave me in her dust with a drink in my hand and a dirty look on my face.
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December 29, 2006 @ 8:09 am
LMAO - oh you are too kind.
Seriously though - too kind. You wouldn’t go on Survivor for a MILLION dollars?!?!
Pfft - and here I thought we had a kindred “entrepreneurial”, money grubbin’ spirit.
December 29, 2006 @ 9:35 am
Miss B We do… however, not even you would get that grubby for money.
I’m certain of it. Dirt, bugs… dirt?!?!?! Blech.
December 29, 2006 @ 11:03 am
Wishing you a Happy, Healthy New Year!
December 29, 2006 @ 11:03 am
Oh, also I love the new look!!
Spiffy!!
December 30, 2006 @ 6:37 am
HUMMMMM, a million bucks ya say? Well, I’m with ya on the streaking, but who would pay to see a middle aged woman who’s body parts have all gone south jiggle down the street naked:oops:
January 4, 2007 @ 3:42 am
I was hoping for some commentary on border hopppers. There’s nothing better than making fun of Canadians.
January 4, 2007 @ 6:47 am
Further evidence that the apple does not fall far from the tree.
(typed while ducking under my desk because you know I like my pancreas to be alone in the viscera)
January 4, 2007 @ 6:52 am
You can embarrass your mom so much more than this.
January 4, 2007 @ 7:47 am
That’s some funny shit. Nicely done!
January 4, 2007 @ 10:20 am
I think Ethan just accused you of child abuse.
January 4, 2007 @ 10:47 am
Miss B Yes, isn’t he freaking adorable? :roll: Ass. The grandmothers will love this one, won’t they? :twisted: I rather thought he was admitting to abusing his mother… you didn’t catch that?
January 4, 2007 @ 10:51 am
Avi And, I have you to thank for my son’s obsession with doctoring photos of himself and family members… usually involving Hitler or obscene amounts of facial hair. :twisted:
Joe Oh for the love of God… don’t encourage him!!!!! What’s wrong with you? Nevermind… I know. :twisted:
Wicked H It’s true… unfortunately, it’s true. No need to duck under the desk, I admit it. :P
January 4, 2007 @ 11:09 am
Amy, it always warms me down to the cockles of my heart to hear a story where I have been able to influence the mind of a teenaged boy.
January 4, 2007 @ 12:46 pm
lmao…he is definitely a blogging natural!
January 4, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
Jesse You are right, nothing is more funny, but I have been in a room full of drunk canooks and woke up in the morning smelling maple syrup. Damn fake french people.
Wicked H haha, boy, isn’t that the truth.
Joe Trust me, I know. As a first guest post I was trying to be just a tad careful.
Avitable Thank you,
I appreciate the compliment.
Britt I don’t know, she and I just seem to get even with each other. But usually her “even” is 5 hits for one of mine. Although there was this one time where I pulled a hot spatula out of the dishwasher and stuck it on my mom’s bare arm. So maybe I do deserve it.
Dawn Thanks, maybe I should give my input more often. haha
January 4, 2007 @ 2:38 pm
Next time Amy, it is so much easier to take them down with a half-nelson. After all, if you are going to abuse them, it pays to do it right!
January 4, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
ROTFLOL, E you are soooooooo funny!
January 4, 2007 @ 9:11 pm
What a timely post! I was just asking Sweety last night if it really hurt as bad as he says when a testicle is smashed. But if that’s what it takes to stop you, it must be bad.
I see that the fruit didn’t fall far from the tree in your house.
January 5, 2007 @ 3:58 pm
I must leave the room now, as I just wet my pants from laughing.
Thanks, Ethan.
LOL