Kate
Posted By AmyD. on April 20, 2007
I’m taking a really good look around and becoming more and more annoyed with people. What is up with these people who whack their monkeys over making someone else feel like less of a human being? I don’t understand the mentality of “I’m a crappy horrible person and I want to make someone else feel as crappy as I do right now.”
I just don’t.
Kate’s teacher this year is a perfect example. Her 6th grade year, first year on the top of the academic totem pole. This woman is a bitter, graceless, rude, pathetic excuse for a human being. At every turn she has lied, manipulated, and done her level best to make Kate feel like a pile of shit.
At the beginning of the year we were concerned that Kate was more in tune with social things than academic progress. After essentially grounding the poor kid and watching her every move, we discovered that Kate wasn’t the problem. This IDIOT in charge of these kids was the problem.
First there were the progress reports, reports that showed no improvement whatsoever and in some cases showed a continuing downward trend. We conferenced, we talked, we sent notes. What we soon found out was that in various crevices, boxes, cubbies, and bins in this classroom were Kate’s missing assignments, graded IN the teacher’s handwriting and never entered in to the system. And, it wasn’t just Kate. Every time a progress report went out there would be a line of kids at the teacher’s desk the next day trying to get things corrected. While her head was apparently up her ass, she would make snide comments to Kate. Things like:
“Well, if you had been turning your work in all year I could trust you, but since you don’t have any proof, I can’t.”
or
“You aren’t as innocent as you portray yourself to be.”
Kate took these comments with the grace and maturity that the adult in front of her would never be capable of mustering. Her attitude has always been, “think what you want, I know the truth.” And, this woman has not earned any respect that would make Kate care what her opinion might be.
Still, no mother would want anyone talking to their child that way. I worry that maybe Kate is too easy-going, or maybe this woman has beaten her down to the point that she won’t stand up for herself.
After witnessing a less than happy conversation between myself and someone else Kate came in and looked upset, it was all over her face. I talked, I poked, and I finally had enough. I said, “What is the problem Kate? You look bothered but you aren’t willing to say anything? Why not? Speak up, grow a spine!”
She said, “I just don’t see why you couldn’t be the bigger person. You have always taught me to be the bigger person. Why couldn’t you today?”
I said, “I’m TIRED, Kate. I’m always the bigger person, I always ignore it, let it slide, and today it was just too much. I just… couldn’t.”
The thing is, I have taught her to be the bigger person. To know that you can’t fix “stupid” or “ignorant.” The problem is that now I worry she’s taken “being the bigger person” to an extreme, to a point where it is a mental crutch so she doesn’t have to stand up and say something. Her three closest friends are all polite, well-mannered, sweet girls, but every single one of them has no problem being assertive, standing up for herself, and speaking up when necessary.
I worry that Kate doesn’t have that ability. That somewhere, I’ve taught her something that has given her a defeatist attitude, but one she can cloak with “being the bigger person.” I’ve pushed them to think, form their own opinions, and to question authority. I’ve also taught them to be polite, respectful, and I’ve tried to encourage them to be open-minded and not to judge others.
This year, lessons I wasn’t quite ready for her to learn were taught. That adults aren’t always honest, that sometimes people just want others to be miserable, that there is such a thing as abuse of authority, and yes, Virginia, miserable, suck-ass excuses for human beings do exist.
I’m writing a letter to the principal. And, I plan to purchase a thank you card for the end of the year, the inside to be a personal note from myself saying, “Thanks for teaching my daughter such an important lesson this year, sometimes the WORST possible example is the best one.”
Let’s be honest, we all know I won’t be that nice.
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Kate will definitely grow a spine. I did, and I was just like that. And since she has several examples – you, Ethan, and Mike – she’ll definitely grow into her own person as she gets older.
I agree that she will grow into her own as she gets older.
However, in the meantime, may I suggest purchasing anerve gas cannister, loading it up with Prozac gas and lobbing it into this twits classroom. Obviously, the only person who should be in the classroom is the afore mentioned twit.
Just an idea…..
I think that you have taught her that you are only human. It’s difficult to be the bigger person 100% of the time especially in a situation like this.
I’m glad you are bringing this to the principals attention. Kate shouldn’t have to suffer for her teacher’s incompetence!
ah the dangers of learning to play “nice”.
I think you should also send copies of that letter to the superintendent and the school board. Teachers are indescribably important. A bad teacher like that deserves all the heat you can muster.
Nana has to weigh in on this one. I sub at Kate’s school and have witnessed Katie’s behavior. It is different this year, she is not the same optimistic, outgoing kid. I see someone who is indifferent about her school environment and somewhat ostracized by her peers.
I do realize that this is your platform for expression Amy, so forgive me, but, I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Joefish (:wink:), I even suggested that Aamy copy all progess reports with the attached “so called” missing assignments. Send these items in an envelope with her State Test Scores ( 90 percentiles people!) along with her past 3 years of grades ( Honor Roll, Pricipal List 4.0 people!) and submit them to the School District with a letter of complaint. A Hot Fire should be lit under this gal’s EGO and going through the RIGHT channels gives her more heat than a steamy note from mom. This is especially true when Amy can show that she has used all the appropriate avenues to correct the and communicate with the school without satisfaction. ( We love Katie, she is a great kid with a spine, maturity and a level of composure that would make any mom very proud..and my darling daughter..you should be ..you “done good”..ILY)
geez, I can’t spell worth shit…well I was upset! crap!
That’s okay, Amy can’t either.
thanks, now,I feel better
Aw, Amy, your mom isn’t NEAR as bad as you make her out to be.
at the risk of this being funny only to me – I should probably disclaim that last comment with:
I was so totally just fucking with Amy. Really. I swear.
Wow. Amy’s mom agreed with me.
I have to go find someone to annoy to balance this.
Britt, I can’t believe you backpedaled on that. I’m ashamed of you!
Avi Hadn’t thought of it that way…
Wicked That’s a GREAT idea!!!! Let’s do it!
Jen I agree! And, ADD me to your TWITTER! I’ve been WAITING for a freakin’ approval!
Britt Amen!
Joe In the works… I completely agree!
Mom aka Nana *sigh* Yes, I know. Thank goodness Adam is brilliant because I think that letter will light a fire under all their asses.
Avi re: my spelling IDJYF
Britt Pfft. Bitch.
Joe That shouldn’t be too hard… just go back over to Britt’s blog, you’ll get under her skin eventually. Or a psycho will show up and you can annoy them!
Avi She has a heart ya know… and a mom… and I have her mom’s email address around here somewhere.
oh, it’s ok…my ears have been on fire on more than a few occassions over the past 31 years…yes it all began when Amy was capable of dialing a telephone.
Mr. Fish..it all works out in the end for there have been numerous times when I didn’t agree with you
Spelling is an objective thing. I don’t judge you if you spell like a retard. I just sigh and shake my head.
Mom, would those be the times I’ve talked about your daughter’s bottom?
Being the bigger person works great in the long run… as for the short run… it feels so damn good to make a little twit cry after they’ve pushed all your buttons.
From what I’ve read here about Kate, she’ll get her spine, and God help those who wrong her when that day comes. She’s got a good example, and she’ll stand up for herself.
First off, this post is nothing like what I was expecting when the feed reader only gave me, “What is up with these people who whack their monkeys…” LOL
Second, I understand your dillema. Daughter is also shy and reserved at school, and “lets things slide” by using the “be a bigger person” cloak too. I’m still strugling with trying to find the balance with her. Oh dear, that’s not very encouraging, is it? Sorry. I know you will find a way!
Ah, my daughter is having a similar year. The teacher in her case runs the gifted program. I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to pull my daughter out of this woman’s class. She’s had a miserable year all because of this teacher.
Mr. Fish
ok…( mom, is now leaving the room and quietly closing the door )
Avi- I just dont care what she has to say, my teacher is a retard and should be in a speacial place as not to hurt anyone or herself!
Britt- Im not sure what to say.
Nana- Well I agree
Everyone else-srry for not personally addressing you. I agree with all and thanks for encouraging my mother to do all possible things to this teacher, i mean she already got a P.E. Teacher fired and RMS! I know she can get Hankison fired!
ILY mom!!!
Kate, you are definitely your mother’s daughter!
*fuming* For every one of us (teachers) who work hard all year long to get kids to trust us enough to open their mouths or approach our desks when they have questions, there are always 3 dumbasses who teach only for the long breaks. Pisses me off!!! Listen to yo’ mama and Joe — Take your complaints to the higher powers. The bitch teacher likely won’t respond to anything you have to say, or she’ll make it your fault and then end up teaching Kate’s 7th grade class next year.
And, give your baby girl time… I was a mouse throughout my growing up, but about the time I became a senior in high school, my sense of righteous anger was awakened, and I realized that I was the only person in this world who would stand up for me. She will get there.
Hey avi what does that mean? that i misspell or personalaty?
Let’s just say a little from column A and a lot from column B!
Ok Avi! Hey I heard about your Avril Lavigne CD. How is it?
It’s fucking awesome. As if it could be anything but!
LOL no kidding, i heard you got the censored version though, that kinda sucks huh?
I bought the unedited version as soon as I found out. It came with a behind the scenes DVD that is kick-ass, too.
Wow!! Well looks like I’m gonna have to get mom to get me that then huh?
You should ask her to order it for you on Amazon.com right now and have it sent overnight. Tell her I said it’s okay.
LoL i will tell her asap! Thanks Avi!!!