The Cat and Midget Killer Clowns
Posted By AmyD. on April 26, 2007
I’m on my second cup of coffee and so far, it isn’t helping. Although, the cat has decided that she likes me today… which kind of made my morning since she’s been trying to kill me for the last six months. Chances are that today is part of her big plan to lure me in and make me feel safe before she leaps up and rips my throat out. I’m such a sucker for a pretty cat that it would probably take me a while before I realized that it wasn’t her way of trying to hug me.
Ethan accidentally locked her out of the bedroom last night, she cried at his door until I let her back in – because apparently I am the only one who can HEAR her. She allowed me to scratch her ears but then she decided we were even and I should be on my way. She let me scratch her again this morning… so that was nice.
I say I worry about her attacking Sophie (the chinchilla) when she is left out in the house all night instead of safely jailed tucked into bed with Ethan. But, I know that I’m the one she looks at with a thirst for blood in her eyes.
Sophie (aka The Wonder Chinchilla) must have partied hard last night – she has a wood chip stuck to the top of her head and won’t hold still long enough for me to take it off. It’s almost like she is proud of it, I have to wonder if Avi feels the same way about a mayonaise smear after a really good bacon cheeseburger.
I have no memories from any dreams last night which is great considering that the night before was filled with crappy dreams that still had me feeling uncomfortable the next morning. There’s nothing like needing something from the pantry and honestly having to wonder if a group of midget killer clowns is hiding in there waiting for you.
There is nothing worse than midget killer clowns. Except maybe full size killer clowns, but truthfully, the midget aspect makes it a little more freaky, I think.
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You’re on your second cup of coffee at 4 AM?
I’m a fastidious eater. I hate having anything white and creamy in the corner of my mouth, or dripping down my chin.
Fuck. Keep forgetting to subscribe.
Perhaps the wood chip is the newest fashion craze for varmits?
Heh. Wicked called her a varmit.
ANYway – I really hope your cat never lunges at you and rips out your jugular and stuff. But. If it does… I really kinda hope you’re on cam.
im ticked off at my stupid cat. she slept with us last night instead of one of the kids an dnow my eyes are swollena nd itchy.
stupid fur!
i just googled chinchilla…..so its liek a rat/gerbil cross or soemthing?
can you actually take it out to play like a dog, or does it have to stay in a cage all the time?
Avi Kiss my ass, I wrote this yesterday.
WickedH Maybe…
Miss B That would be kinda cool, huh?
Bluepaintred No. They are not a cross between a rat/gerbil. Chinchillas are their own thing, they are native to the Andes mountains in South America. Originally they were only used for their fur – which alone makes them very different from rats or gerbils.
If anything, she looks closer to a squirrel or rabbit. I don’t take her outside because we have a dog and that makes her nervous, but I do let her run around the house from time to time.
Sophie is very cute!
usually I don’t remember dreams but last night I had a dream I was with a few friends and I was watching them all shoot up heroin. maybe it’s a good thing I usually don’t remember my dreams…LOL
Kitty’s going to zap you when you’re not expecting it.
A really good bacon cheeseburger by definition cannot have mayonnaise. WTF is wrong with you people?
What the fuck are you talking about, Joe?
Beef, bacon, ketchup, mayonnaise, and cheese. Those are the elements to an excellent bacon cheeseburger.
Trust me, I’m an expert.
And now we must fight.
What do you think goes in a bacon cheeseburger?
Avi Thank you, she is, isn’t she?
Webmiztris I’d say you are better off not remembering them… and the same goes for me as well, I’m afraid.
Joe
And, I have to agree, I’m not up on the whole “put mayo on everything” personally, I like mustard and ketchup… lots of it.
Avi What about avacado? Oo oo some chipotle sauce and blue cheese crumbles??
Joe To the DEATH!!! Or at least decent maiming WITH nut shots!!!! Everyone… to your WEBCAMS!!!!!
Avi – Beef, bacon, ketchup, mustard, a little onion, a lot of grease, and 3oz of love. And certainly not mayonnaise.
Amy – I don’t have a cam. Think we can convince Avi to hit himself in the nuts?
Joe Have you seen his Yahoo! Avatar pic? It’s a distinct possibility.
MUSTARD?
ONION?
Blasphemy!
And Amy, just because my avatar is a picture of my nuts doesn’t mean I want to abuse them. I caress them gently.
Avi So I’ve been told…
The perfect bacon cheeseburger:
Thin, crispy bacon
Extra sharp cheddar cheese
Onion
Tomato
Lettuce
Ketchup
Mayonaise
Mustard
Jalepenos
Thick, ground sirloin patty medium rare
On a sourdough bun (toasted)
6 Heinekens
And any Clint Eastwood western.
*sigh* That’s my man. Always taking it to the next level.
Around here we call them “Mike’s Mondo Burgers” he is the barbecue king!
That’s horrible. The mustard and vegetables just take away from the taste of the bacon and meat.
Avi It’s true that bacon is the candy bar of the meat family, isn’t it?
I’m not sure what that means, but I’ll say yes.
Quick, quick Avi!! What’s the best drive-thru bacon cheeseburger?
Actually, Carl’s Jr with the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger was the one I would eat for breakfast when I lived in LA. The BBQ sauce was a good substitute for ketchup and mayo.
Oooo, those ARE good. I thought BK had a decent one? Not anymore?
Fatburger and Carl’s Jr are the two best burger fast food places in the country. BK is a passable substitute.
Fuck, how could I have forgotten the cheddar? Good save, Mike.
Amy – I have not seen this Yahoo avatar. And now I really don’t want to.
Joe – go to your closest nursing home and ask some 80 year old guy to drop his pants. That’s Avi’s avatar.
Joe Britt’s right. Not that I go around asking 80 year old men to drop their pants. But, were I to imagine such a thing, I’m afraid THAT avatar is exactly what I would picture.
You should add him to your friends list on Yahoo!
Apparently Britt has seen lots of old man balls?
I’m guessing Britt has been around the block a time or two.
I’m just going to go home and cry to my apparently wrinkly saggy balls now.
Pfft. I was married at 19. Even at my dead spring I barely had time to make it around the block once.
Avi Where are you? You never LEAVE home!
Miss Britt What? Were you a bunny in your youth? A dead spring?
fuck me – dead SPRINT
AND you stole my comment to avi
dammit
i’m going to bed
whore
Well, I’m home, actually. Hm. That didn’t work as well as I thought it would.
Why do I suspect crying to your balls isn’t a rare occurrence?
Well, I’m usually crying to Britt’s balls.