Vanity and Denial
Posted By AmyD. on July 10, 2007
I have a tiny bald spot.
It’s true.
My mother told me once that it was from falling out of a tree when I was stupid a kid.
The house I grew up in had two large trees in the backyard. I’m not sure what they were, but they were big with big leaves that fell every fall. We had a cement border that ran near the trees and one day I perched a pail of some sort on the border and climbed up attempting to climb up into the tree. I doubt this was the first time I had done this but I really can’t remember if that is the case or not.
Needless to say, the pail collapsed just as I was about to lift myself up into the tree. I fell and landed smack on the cement border… on my head.
I had a huge knot and a scrape or two. I remember feeling very deformed by this giant knot on my head.
Now I feel very deformed at the sight of this small bald spot on my head. It’s smaller than the size of a dime and when I showed her she said that it didn’t look any different from the rest of the part in my hair. I disagree. A part is a straight line – this is round. Sort of like a point on a map, you have the line that runs through it and then you have the spot where a town is and then the line continues on. That’s what it looks like to me.
Given the map you are looking at – it wouldn’t be like Los Angeles on a map, maybe more like a small, one stoplight town.
Oddly enough this spot never bothered me before. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that I will be turning 32 in 6 months, I suppose it might.
Still, between the extra poundage I have got to lose, the bald spot, and the boobs that are hell bent on meeting my toes “face to face” – I’m having a bit of a vanity crisis.
About The Author
Awww, Amy. You’re awesome. About the pounds- don’t all women, even those who don’t need to, want to lose weight? The bald spot- At least no one else will notice it unless you physically point it out to them, or announce it to the inter…ummm, let’s move on. The boobs that seem to want to say hello to the feet- First of all, at least you have enough boobs to reach the feet (I know from experience that large ones can really be hell on your back), and at least your feet are beautiful enough that your boobs want to hang out with them.
See, it’s not so bad.
This will probably sound like such a man thing to say, but you’re a lunatic.
A bald spot smaller than a dime? Pfft.
Boobs that don’t perk like a 15-year old’s? Pfft.
A little extra weight? Pfffft.
Nobody will notice the bald spot unless they’re looking at the top of your head, in which case you’re probably making them pretty happy at that given moment. Boobs are awesome even when they succumb to gravity – it happens and yet men still love all boobs. And not everyone is supposed to be rail thin. You look fine!
My best friend and I joke about having to tuck our boobs into our pants when we get dressed in the mornings… Wanna form a club? I personally am looking for a wench that a plastic surgeon can install in my shoulders, and when the girls start sagging, I can just crank ‘em up until they’re perky again.
Wow. You’re going to be 32. You ARE old.
:heartbeat:
Oooohhhhh.
Such a whore, that Britt!
32 in 6 months. I got a wart older than that.
:heartbeat: Men love boobs. Don’t matter where they are. We don’t notice bald spots. To busy looking at boobs.
Only 32? Aww such a young whipper snapper. :lmao:
Ditto what they’ve all said. You’re fine… don’t mess with your own head that way! (And I’m not talking about the part!)
Angel Wow, you are good! :thumbsup:
Avitable Yes, you do sound like a man, you just said I look FINE… FINE?!?!?!?! That is right there in the “just Ok” category!!!!
Tense Yes, let’s start a club and we won’t let small, blonde women from Iowa join, will we?
Miss B
mg: :pissed:
Avitable :heartbeat: :clap:
RW You know… warts are pretty easy to remove. Snip Snip!!
GregT :lmfao: Excellent!
Fogspinner LOL – good point!!
Hot. I meant hot!
I’m sorry. You’re right. That was insensitive.
I should have said “32? Wow. You’re a lot older than me.”
My bad.
Avi :cheesy: That’s MUCH better!
Miss B He’s right. You ARE a whore.
:annoyed: an evil, evil, whore.
You must have a thing for evil, evil whores.
:doh:
Ah…. Isn’t it fun realizing you will never be a runway model..
:martini: :martini: :martini:
my brother has a bald spot, too…. his is from hitting his head on a telephone pole.
TMP Not really. :martini: :martini:
Humor Girl LOL I should post a picture of my bald spot, I’m worried now that people didn’t catch the part where I mentioned it is smaller than a dime. LOL :blush:
Don’t worry about the tiny bald spot, sugar. Nobody will notice it after they gasp at how saggy your breasts have become – LOL
(You know I think you’re beautiful and just kidding)
I have a gray hair…just one…I haven’t plucked it out yet because it’s cool in a creepy “I’m starting to age” kind of way.
And one of my thumbs is longer than the other due to a mishap with my brother and a knife when we were kids.
LOL!
Sharpie markers work wonders at hiding tiny things that you don’t want noticed.