I Resolve To
Posted By AmyD. on January 2, 2008
I never make resolutions. In fact, in the past, I’ve sworn that I never will. Until this year.
This year, I’ve decided to give it a try.
I’m making one… because I figure with ONE… how can you go wrong? There is no big list to remember, no guilt inducing goal that must be met, blah blah. It’s just one little change.
My resolution?
I will exercise at least 20 minutes DAILY.
That’s it. Pretty simple.
I can totally do this.
Starting the day AFTER New Year’s, of course.
I don’t want you to think that I made this resolution carelessly or without really giving it some serious thought. After all, people make big commitments to this sort of thing and were I to just haphazardly make a resolution all willy nilly… why that would just be spitting in the eye of those who really do this sort of thing every year. But, only if they stick to it… or give it a good try… if you are just a serial resolution maker – then suck it.
What was I saying? Oh, riiiiiight, that’s it. So, I thought I’d give you a list of resolutions I considered making but eliminated in my desire to just reduce it to one, do-able, resolution.
1. Lose weight.
Well, freakin’ duh. Everyone does that. I can’t do what everyone else does.
2. Stop swearing.
OMG. I’d have nothing left to say and THEN what would happen?
3. Become a better person who tries to bring about world peace.
Oh, come ON! I don’t know what I was smoking when I wrote THAT down.
4. Set a budget and stick to it.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA… Hooo… hahahahaha… ahahaaha.. whooooo, oh boy, that IS a good one.
5. Stop wishing bad things on people who do stupid/mean/evil things to other people.
Pfft. Yeah right.
6. Ignore all stupidity thereby reducing my stress levels.
HA! With all the stupidity out there? Yeah right. Why not just ask me to end a drought with a rain dance… hmmmm?
7. Work on having more patience, love, tolerance, understanding, and compassion for others.
OH for the LOVE of PETE… I’m going down quite the redundant path here.
8. Learn to play an instrument.
Gah… or rather, jam a fork in my eye.
9. Travel more.
Or… I could just stay home.
10. Stop being manipulated into opening the emails that contain pics of Adam’s balls.
Oh come on… we all know if Adam says, “this is REALLY funny” that someone out there (probably me) is going to open the freakin’ email. Like I said, resolutions should be do-able, dammit!
See why I settled on the exercise one? It’s for the good of me the whole, body, mind and soul thing. It’ll be great. Just great…
About The Author
Has anyone volunteered to be your task master on this yet?
Because that is a resolution I could totally get behind.
Oddly enough, sticking a fork in my eye is my ONLY resolution for this year.
Phew!
My resolution was to show you my balls more than last year.
You can come to my house and let Sweety be your task master. He has proclaimed himself to be mine for this year. I don’t know if our marriage will survive it.
Oy oy oy excercise.
I resolve not to make any resolutions, thereby eliminating ONE thing that will make me feel like a failure!!!
I like your thinking. Maybe I could stick with a New Year’s resolution if I made just one.
Or not.
Miss B – Oh, I’m sure you could. :rolleyes:
Mr. Fab – I want pictures!!! Or video!!
Avi – Well, thank God for that!
Chickie – Ummm, will he be heavily medicated? Cuz, that might be funny.
B’s Mom – That’s usually my line of thinking. I don’t know what got into me this year. :banghead:
Friglet – :lmao:
Those were some pretty funny resolutions!! I especially like the one about trying to ignore stupidity!
Yeah, I think you made the right choice; the other ones (#6 especially) would just set you up for a fall. Or wait, maybe I’m talking about myself here.
I myself have made 2 resolutions this year: 1. Balance my checkbook more regularly so I don’t end up with shit-loads of overage fees at the end of the month, and 2. Exercise 3 times a week. I think mine are totally do-able. Oh, and I think Julian McMahon is totally do-able too… Not that he has anything to do with making resolutions. I just wanted to put that out there. :sex014:
Jen – Yeah, that one was pretty good, completely unrealistic, but pretty good. LOL
Tense – Hee hee. Yes, Julian McMahon is a total hottie!!!! Very do-able. :thumbsup:
No 10 & 6 are pointless to even try. I’ve had ball-buddies, I know
You absolutely slay me, girl! It’ll be a cold ass day in hati before I make anymore resolutions. I’m so good, I managed to break ‘em before they are even made.
xoxo Happy New Year to ya!
tj – ROTFLMAO
Diva – Bwahahahaha. Happy New Year to you!!!!
What?
I don’t see what is so hot about this guy –
http://barefoot.provocateuse.com/show/julian_mcmahon/03
I could probably look like that if I wanted to. I just chose not to.
That and I have Grey hair.
Beamer