From All Sides…

Posted By AmyD. on January 22, 2008

This mothering thing has taken a schizophrenic turn for the worse, I’m afraid. I’m now dealing with typical teenage behavior: eye rolling, exasperated sighs, and copious amounts of “yes, Mother” with mother really sounding like it ought to have an exceptionally dirty word following it.

On the flip side I have the 4 year old whose ability to communicate is seemingly doubling by the day. Including, but not limited to: tattling, threats, and voicing various forms of displeasure with her current environment.

For example, she wanted Katie to play another video on YouTube.

“Katieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I want *whatever it was* NOW! NOW NOW!”

*insert me gritting my teeth at my child sounding every bit the spoiled brat*

Me, “Margaret, that is NOT the way we ask nicely for something. Now, ask Katie nicely.”

Kate, please turn on *insert video name*…” and then she paused to see if I was looking and hissed, quietly, but in a very menacing tone, “right…now.

Oh, and if that isn’t bad enough. The parrot Maggie got for her birthday? Some moron in this house has taught it to say, “Maggie is a ‘tard!”

Funny how that happened after I banned the words “tard” and “retard” from the house, isn’t it?

Sometimes I really don’t like any of my children.

About The Author

AmyD.
See - About Page The boring stuff? I'm the anti-soccer mom of three great kids, the wife to a real estate appraiser/guitarist who refuses to grow up (in a good way) and a woman in search of perfection who is destined to be disappointed in the end. It's a ride...

Comments

12 Responses to “From All Sides…”

  1. avitable says:

    Once again, I recommend copious amounts of duct tape!

  2. Miss Britt says:

    I’m sorry – I am HOWLING here at the idea of a stuffed parrot spontaneously shouting “Maggie is a tard!”

    :lmao: :lmao:

  3. avitable says:

    It’s a stuffed parrot? Oh, that’s even funnier.

  4. Jen says:

    Mental note – never buy a parrot, stuffed or otherwise!

    My daughter is at the “repeat everything I say stage”. At least it makes me laugh when I’ve lost my temper!

  5. Chickie says:

    Why is it that the sound of unruly children makes me wish for deafness?

  6. Amy says:

    Avi – well, then you can come on out here and chase them around and try to get them to hold still long enough for the installation.

    Miss B – Oh, it’s worse than that. Maggie will go to play with him and the first thing he says is, “Maggie is a tard!” and then she says, “Maggie is NOT a TARD!!! That’s a BAD WORD!!!”

    Avi – Yup, you should get one. It’s a FurReal Pet.

    Jen – Maggie has been at that stage for the last year and half… it’s getting old. LOL

    Chickie – Oooo, good wish. I wish I had thought of that.

  7. Miss Britt says:

    Oh please God get that on video.

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

  8. Crazy Lady says:

    I feel your pain, I really do. But for me it is an 11 year old boy. :banghead:

  9. OH, no. You just reminded me what I have to look forward to with my 12 year old.

    Booze. There is no other option. I probably should just start drinking now, 6 years of boozing it up should fix the problem.

    :martini:

  10. Amy says:

    Miss B – I’m tryin!!!

    Crazy Lady – They aren’t any better at 16, I’m afraid.

    TMP – Oh, if ONLY I had thought of that. *sigh*

  11. Mrs. G. says:

    I had never considered using the parrot as a verbal weapon…your children are clever, I mean naughty.

  12. Amy says:

    I don’t know about clever… it was most likely the 16 year old who decided to torture the 4 year old. :banghead: