The Other “C” Word
Carb.
As in, “low carb!”
Yes, yes, I’ve lost 13 pounds, but that does not mean that late at night I don’t hear pancakes, chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake, etc. etc. calling to me. On top of trying to adhere to my diet I now have discovered something… a deep secret that my family has kept from me.
Someone in this house has been buying M&Ms…
No, I’m NOT joking.
How did I come to find this out?
It was a cold and blustery night. I just couldn’t sleep… what with the television blaring a Chris Rock stand up special. I decided to have some (low*fucking*carb) ice cream to settle my nerves. As I arrived in the kitchen something occurred to me… “Oh my! (I said to myself) I don’t eat bread and yet, suddenly, I am VERY worried that we might not have any…” and I proceeded to ease my worries by searching the bread cabinet and just “happening” to find a bag of peanut M&M’s.
And, it is NOT my fault if tomorrow someone (hypothetically) finds an open bag of M&Ms with a bright pink post-it note that reads, “Ha ha, Fuckers! I ate most of your M&Ms!”
The “fuckers” part - I’ll blame on Atkins Rage or something like that.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Other posts you might like:
September 19, 2007 @ 2:17 am
Bwaahahahahahahahahaha. It’s funny, though… Well, maybe not if you’re the Mom and sitting there at that very moment… but in hindsight… right? sorta?
September 19, 2007 @ 4:43 am
That’s when you lean over and say to the assistant, “Ethan’s ’special’. I make him brownies and tell them they have marijuana in them, and then he starts acting all high. It’s soo cute!”
September 19, 2007 @ 5:43 am
The last time I was at the dentist, we talked about being high… hmmmm. Very interesting. And really funny. I wonder where in the world your kid got his sense of humor. Anybody?
September 19, 2007 @ 5:51 am
Only in California does this conversation NOT end with “shut UP kid, do you want to be in Foster care?!?!”
I’m so glad he lives there. LOL
September 19, 2007 @ 1:36 pm
Poor Amy. But just think how boring your life would be with out him around. And - that when he gets around to having kids, karma will get him right back in the ass.
September 19, 2007 @ 1:47 pm
My son was in “lust” with an assistant at our Dentist’s office also. He wasn’t quite as creative as Ethan. He asked the Dr. to set them up. Poor kid was broken hearted when he found out she was married. Next visit she was pregnant. He quickly lost his “lust”
September 19, 2007 @ 4:07 pm
:lmao:
September 20, 2007 @ 11:42 am
That’s freckin’ funny. So after you died a horrible death of embarassment, it was funny right? hahahahahahah
Thanks for the happy b-day.
Yeah me I’m as old as everyone else….wait that didn’t help. :D
Love my evil nephew.
February 25, 2008 @ 5:54 am
Oh! Hey! I’ve been meaning to tell you about something that is supposed to help if you’re having bad carb cravings during the winter!
Have a little. :-)
But if you have it, have something high in Fiber, etc. too.
I started eating on small bowl of oatmeal in the morning. I have the rest of the day to burn up the energy and it really helps me from craving carbs the rest of the day.
*that being said, I have NOT lost 13 lbs in the last ANY TIME…. so my advice is probably worthless. LOL
February 25, 2008 @ 5:55 am
Oh!
And!
YAY FOR LOSING 13 POUNDS!!!!
:cheer: :cheer:
:coffee: 
February 25, 2008 @ 7:09 am
Well good Gawd woman, congrats! I just started this diet too … ugh. The Safeway butter pecan ice cream isn’t too bad. Chocolate is pretty tasteless. Ice cream bars, now those are almost tasty. :o) Good luck!
February 25, 2008 @ 7:23 am
I’m the same way. I am very grateful when I try to lose weight, there is no one else in the house but me… No temptation. I don’t keep chocolate and stuff in the house because it is gone in about ten seconds. I cannot ration candy.
February 25, 2008 @ 7:27 am
Want me to send you some Girl Scout Cookies and a cake? I totally will.
February 25, 2008 @ 9:22 am
Adam, you are a jackass! :flaming:
Amy darling, hooray for losing 13 pounds!! But did I not read sometime that you were doing Nutrisystem?
I are confused.
February 25, 2008 @ 9:28 am
I’m a strong proponent of eating what you want!
February 25, 2008 @ 9:52 am
Miss B - I was actually thinking of doing the oatmeal thing. But, uh, that is because I’ve been CRAVING oatmeal like mad lately.
and… :heartbeat: thank you!
Michelle - The Dreyer’s no sugar added is pretty good, especially the mint n’chip. Thrifty’s brand no sugar added is good as well.
The Absurdist - Lucky, lucky you.
Avi - :hole:
B’s Mom -
I was on Nutrisystem but I switched back to low carb because it works so much faster to me. I wanted some instant gratification.
February 25, 2008 @ 10:09 am
Yay for losing 13 pounds!
And the M&M buyer was asking to lose their candy, leaving it around like that.
February 25, 2008 @ 10:35 am
I just started low carb eating today. As of this moment, I’m not having cravings at all, but I’ve only ate one meal. lol Congrats on your 13 lb. loss! I hope it works as well for me.
February 25, 2008 @ 12:05 pm
WTG on loosing the weight!!!
February 25, 2008 @ 12:28 pm
Anyone who would bring M & Ms into the home of a woman on a low carb diet deserves to lose them! And, if it were found to be the person who wants a drive a day, well………………
February 25, 2008 @ 5:45 pm
Anyone who would dare to bring M&Ms into the house and then HIDE them - deserves to have them stolen.
February 25, 2008 @ 7:12 pm
yay Amy for losing 13lbs!
ahaha, let’s go to the gym :D
February 26, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
It’s already been said but I’ll say it again - Yay on the 13 pounds!