I’ve really had my head in other things. I haven’t gotten around to many blogs recently. Please don’t feel bad… it’s not you, it’s me. Really it is.
In fact, I’ve struggled all week long to write and post. Truthfully, if I pay close attention, it’s pretty typical of me to get very “stuck” monthly if ya know what I mean. So, I’m a little bitchy and a little sensitive and prone to either tears or angry outbursts.
Which is probably why after really trying to write half-assed decent posts all week and not succeeding at all, I was a little upset when I turned to my beloved spouse for assistance. Thinking perhaps he might be able to provide a little inspiration.
I turned to my much-adored hubs and asked him, “Hey… can you think of maybe 3 or 5 things about me that other people probably wouldn’t know? You know… quirky, silly, annoying, etc?”
Know what he said?
“Huh? I dunno. How would I think of 5 things about you?”
:horse:
So much for the knight on the white charger.
Several years later and he can’t think of 5 things? Really?
I’m so glad it’s Friday. 
So instead, I’ve decided to bring you 5 Quirky Things About My Husband The Asshole:
1. He has left and right socks. (Oh, Adam, I know you’ll ask about this one, so just email him, ok?)
2. He has a hat fetish. He is attracted to the ugliest fucking hat in a 5 mile radius, if he can find it, he’ll buy it. He once pouted at Disneyland when I wouldn’t let him buy the stupidest looking safari hat that I have ever seen. When he asked why - I told him it made him look like a really stoned, gay, boy scout.
3. It took YEARS to get him to stop making his chili so damn hot that we nearly lost control of our bodily functions right at the dinner table.
4. If you tweak his nipple he automatically has to check it with his own hand to make sure it is still there. It makes me wonder if someone didn’t get drunk and play, “I’ve Got Your Nipple!” with him as a child instead of “I’ve Got Your Nose!!”
5. He makes sex noises when he is concentrating while playing the guitar. Little grunts and gasps occasionally.
There, my love, the next time I ask you for 5 things about me - you better get to thinking quick or I am going to dig deeper into your damn closet next time. Oh, and lest you think I am done with you - we still have all weekend. And, now I am looking forward to it in a whole new way.
:boom:
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March 7th, 2008
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