- Sometimes I wish I could admit that I am using all of my powers for good instead of using them to wring someone’s neck until their eyeballs pop out while screaming, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, JUST SHUT UP!!! PLEASE!” I wish I could admit it because I think the fact that I don’t do it should be appreciated.

- Want to know what I hate about being a grown up? Not only does no one notice that I am out of clean underwear, nobody gives a shit either. Let someone else run out of clean underwear and I’m #1 on their contact list.

- No good deed goes unpunished.

- Kate is watching “Grease” in the other room… and I am singing along to every word in my head. I think I have every bit of that movie memorized.

- The weather has cooled off and I like that… my ass doesn’t sweat when sitting on this chair. I absolutely hate to sweat. Seriously. HATE. Like… ‘if hate were people, I’d be China!’ kind of hate.

- Just because I happen to be in the office at 9pm does not mean I am working. It just happens to mean that my work computer is also my personal computer and maybe I’d like to do something at it that doesn’t have anything to do with work. In short, it’s not an invitation for you to start asking me work/business related questions.

- Sierra Nevada Summerfest Lager is good.

- Not sure about Hornitos Tequila, but as soon as I am done writing this pathetic excuse for a post, I plan to find out.

Please tell me that Tara Reid didn’t start out like this:

Sometimes I sit here and wish for a life changing epiphany. A small glimmer of hope inside still waits for that giant cosmic light bulb to go off. Sometimes I feel like I am on the edge of the diving board just waiting for that sudden urge to leap into the pool, but something keeps telling me to wait. Just wait, it’s not quite right yet.

Then the next moment I feel very foolish, I look around and realize that this MIGHT be as good as it gets. This might just be the pinnacle of it all. That’s when that little voice pops up and says, “No, it’s not… just waiiiiiiittttt and seeeeeeee.”

And, maybe, just maybe, this isn’t such a bad place to wait.

But, I’m not a very patient person. I’m really not. Sure, I’ve worked on it from time to time, but I’ve never really mastered the art of patience, regardless of how much of a virtue it may be. Patience just doesn’t seem to be part of my skill set.

I’m more of the take charge, “no, no, no, do it THIS way,” be proactive kind of person. I hate feeling helpless and I don’t like to ask for help. Somehow waiting these days feels a lot like helpless. Not hopeless, just helpless.

That feeling of “there is nothing you can do but sit by and wait.” God forbid anyone I love or care about falls into a coma (isn’t that an odd phrase, FALL into a coma, like “woah, Johnny, don’t trip there, you might fall into a coma!”) because I would not be able to just sit there and wait. I’d be the person with the comatose person in the wheelchair wheeling them around the mall going, “But you LOVE this store!!!!” And, I’d be playing yoga videos and twisting their unconscious body into also sorts of positions. That’s me… I’m a “take action” kind of gal.

Still, here I am. Waiting. I’ve double checked the list, there are two maybe three more things I can do and then, I’m going to be in “twiddle my thumbs” mode, emotionally/mentally. Just waiting… to see if it works out. To see if maybe time can do what I can’t. But, that might be tough because time also seems to be in short supply.

*Sigh*

And, so I wait. And hope.

The one big difference? For the first time in a very, very, long time, I’m ok with it. Which I don’t understand because it isn’t me, at all. Which, can only mean one thing, really:

I’m obviously in denial.

This stinks, I’m trying desperately to come up with some wonderful post when all I can do is a little happy dance and sing, “Friday… Friday… Fridaaaaaaaay!!!!” *and jazz hands*

I have thoughts whirling around in my head but most of them are just Stewie quotes.

Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it’s THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.

Oh, that Stewie… he’s quite a card.

I’ve had a headache off and on for about two days now. Staring at the monitor has been murder! Therefore, you get the benefit of my not so awesome photography skills.

Last Friday Mike and I took Maggie to visit a local petting zoo. I had so much fun looking at the baby goats with Maggie that I forgot to take pictures of it. I usually can’t stand petting zoos but this one was actually super clean, really cute, and the animals all looked very happy.

On our way out we noticed that they had bantam chicks for about $2 a piece. We fell in love with them. We haven’t had a chicken around since Nero passed away.

We bought a few and headed home. Maggie adores them and calls all of them Chickie, which is fine because I guess it might be a while before we determine their genders. I believe only 2 of them are guaranteed to be female. We bought 3 different varieties. Two will keep the feathers on their legs (sort of like an old fashioned petticoat) and another one will have sort of a wild, Albert Einstein look to the feathers on the top of his head (I assume he’s a boy, he’s quite overbearing already) anyway, he’s black and yellow, should be really pretty.

We are really into natural pest control and we noticed with Nero that we really never saw any “bad” bugs in the backyard. I’m excited to get these little guys into the backyard, but right now they are just too tiny!

Zander is thrilled to have something to guard again. See how concerned he looks? He’s missed his rooster, poor thing.

For anyone who might be counting… our pet roster looks like this:

1 dog - Zander
2 cats - Molly and Liza Jane
1 Chinchilla - Sophie
Fish
Chickens

And yes, all of them are well loved.

Spring has been schizophrenic to say the least. We had 90 degree temps last week and now we are back in the high 60’s. One week it’s margaritas on the patio, the next it’s gin martinis on the couch with a blanket! Of course one or two of either and you don’t really care how hot or cold it is.

Ethan just walked into the room to tell us that Maggie very sweetly asked him if he would, “help me tie Katie’s shoes together so she’ll fall down?” He was so proud, I think I caught a glimpse of a tear in the corner of his eye.

Kate has state testing in school all week. This pretty much guarantees that she’ll be grumpy and tired all week. She brought her schedule for the week in to show Mike and said, “LOOK at this! THIS is what MY schedule looks like all week!”

Mike replied, “Oh, is that why you’ve been so happy all week?”

Kate, missing his sarcasm, said, “What do you mean, it’s only TUESDAY!”

That’s my girl.

So, you might recall the haunted house my mom rented for a while, right? I was asked more about it and so, decided to jot down the other recollections I have of the place.

This was about 4 years ago, exactly. It’s funny how you can have something extraordinary happen to you and then just sort of forget about it and move on. I love all things supernatural and have always had a pretty strong interest in it for as long as I can remember. Then, of course, I land right in the middle of a little supernatural cocktail party and having a 4 month old doesn’t exactly make you want to hop up and put all those things you’ve learned about ghost hunting into action. *sigh* If only I could go back…

Moving on, my mom put one of her favorite chairs in the corner of the den and she would sit there in the evening studying while my stepdad and brother watched television. She said it was never unusual to see a white form gliding down the hall - which she could see through den and on the other side of the living room.

Then there was the cat. My mom was very sure it was a cat, a smaller than a dog, gray shape that would occasionally dart under furniture or appear to be chasing a toy across the room for a split second or so.

And the back gate, the gate that would not stay closed no matter how many latches or pins were put through the latches. My mom constantly found it open. On the other side of this gate/fence a previous owner had fenced off a section of the yard and there were old fruit trees on the other side, like a mini orchard or something.

JJ (cocker spaniel) the ball addict would find different tennis balls, that didn’t belong to him that would appear in the yard - usually under some redwoods (maybe the cat and dog were buried under there?) in the back yard. The strange thing about this was that my mom and I had both gone through the yards before they moved in and there were no tennis balls around. Now, sure, maybe a neighbor threw them over the fence, but they were old, old and clearly loved by some dog. From time to time the balls would disappear and reappear by the redwoods. Lots of plausible explanations here, sure, but still a little strange.

The house, overall, just had a pretty creepy feel to it. You always felt as if you were being watched.

I can’t begin to explain the relationship between my cat and I. Well, I couldn’t before, but I can now! I used to be so smug that my cat slept on the back of my chair all day long as I toiled away at the computer. Really, I was so snooty about it. Can you blame me? Look for yourself:

She’s so clever at looking adoring!

But something changed this weekend. I’m more than a little embarrassed to tell of my experience, but I think that it’s about time someone shed some light on this before another clueless cat owner gets hurt.

I had gone outside to do some gardening. The sun was shining and there was a nice breeze. The weeds were coming up easily, it was just a good afternoon. I decided to go inside to get something to drink and that was when I noticed that poor Liza’s water bowl was empty!

*gasp*

I felt HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE, I tell you!!!

I quickly filled the bowl and even added a couple of ice cubes (she likes to play with them). That was when I realized… no Liza. Usually she can hear someone walking within 12 inches of her food dishes no matter where she is in the house. I began to look around for her, worried that something terrible might have happened!

That’s when I walked in on… on… just look for yourself!!!

That’s right. Liza and MY chair!!!

She actually had the nerve to look miffed when I caught her!!!

Update! I just realized that the comments were closed. I’m sorry! They are open now!

* This was originally posted October 2005, but since we’ve discussed some things of an esoteric nature this week, I decided to repost it. Enjoy!

Three weeks after Maggie was born in January of 2004 my mom’s house caught on fire. Their insurance company rented them a house a few blocks away to stay in while their house was repaired/remodeled. The rental house was older, but it was large with 4 bedrooms and three bathrooms, a large living room, dining room, and family room which was adjacent to the kitchen. All the bedrooms were on one end of the house with the family room and kitchen on the other end and the living room and entryway in the middle. I went through all that to set up the following story.

When they moved in the linoleum in the master bathroom needed to be repaired/replaced. My mom had the rental company send someone out to get it fixed. The gentleman arrived and went to work, my mom had to be in class (at the local university) so she left him there repairing the linoleum. When she came home the repairman was gone, the linoleum was only partially repaired and several of his tools were still sitting in the bathroom. It appeared he had left in a hurry. Mom didn’t think anything of it, she assumed he’d be back to finish.

He never came back.

The first bedroom in the hall was turned into a home office. My mom had a lot of furniture that had to be replaced so we were constantly searching on the internet to find furniture that she liked as well or better than her old furniture. I was in the office looking for leather chairs to replace her old chairs. Maggie was 3 months old and was sound asleep in her carrier nearby. My mom’s two cocker spaniels, Molly and JJ were laying the floor next to me. My mom had a morning class she was running out to and we had planned to meet up with my sister for lunch when she got back.

I heard my mom go out the garage door and saw her car drive away. It was about 15 minutes later when I heard the garage door open then close and what sounded like plastic grocery bags being brought into the kitchen and put on the counter followed by cabinet doors opening and closing. The dogs hopped up and started barking like they always do when my mom comes home and ran in to greet her. I naturally assumed that mom had gone to the store before going to class.

Then everything went silent, dead silent. No grocery bags rustling, no dogs barking. I started to call out to my mom but had the oddest sensation that I should keep quiet. Maggie was still sleeping soundly so I crept out of the office and into the living room. As I came into the living room both dogs were perched on the back of my mom’s expensive sofa (a huge no-no and something they had been trained not to do) staring in the direction of the family room and kitchen, the hair on their backs was standing straight up and JJ had his teeth bared, something he never did.

From my position on the living room I could see the dining room and most of the family room, but not the kitchen. I became concerned that someone had come into the house and so I stood there listening for any sound that might confirm my suspicions. The silence was so strange it didn’t feel like a normal quiet at all. I was just about to turn to go get the baby and leave when I heard, plain as day and crystal clear, a loudly whispered, “Hello…” nearly in my ear, it felt as if someone was at my shoulder. I nearly felt the breath on my neck.

I spun around and, of course, no one was there. The dogs still held their position

When you are not familiar with this sort of thing I can tell you that your mind immediately leaps to rationalize whatever you have seen or heard. I immediately assumed that it was my mom playing some sort of trick on me. Although, for the record, my mom has never been a practical joker of any sort… she’s never been known to prank anyone and certainly would not try to scare anyone on purpose.

I ran in got the baby and called my sister from my cell phone. She was on her way to the house, so I waited by the front door for her to come in. We went through the house and no one was there. The kitchen counters were empty and clean just as they had been when my mom left. All the cabinet doors were closed and the dogs were back to normal.

My sister is sensitive. Very sensitive. And, she refused to stay in that house AT ALL. Preferring to stay with a friend while the house was remodeled. She never really would say why she wouldn’t stay there.

The final incident was on Easter of that year. We did the whole egg hunt thing, had a great meal, the guys settled in to watch a movie, the kids were playing hide and seek all over the house. Finally it was late and my mom, Ethan, GJ, Kate, Maggie and I were all settled into the living room. Yes, the same living room that I had had my experience in just a month or so before.

The boys were discussing how they had slept out in the den (where we could clearly see Mike and my stepdad hanging out) and heard someone walking around the kitchen, opening cupboard doors and things. They assumed it was my mom and when they walked in - no one was there. We teased them a bit (not wanting them to be afraid in the house, they hadn’t heard the other stories at this point, and there are more stories) and started talking about something else. That’s when they interrupted us and told us about the front door - which we were in plain view of. They said that on the night that happened in the kitchen, they walked through the kitchen, through the dining room, into the living room and heard the front door rattling.

Everyone got a little quiet then and we looked at the front door. As if on queue the doorknob began rattling and turning. Ethan, ever the brave little man, ran up to the front door and looked out the window then pulled the door open. No one was there. And everyone at the house was in plain sight.

We noticed that the house has been rented a few times since my mom lived there, it’s even been sold a couple of times… no one stays there very long.

I might post more about this, there are a few more interesting stories my mom told me about the place.

Just when you think that nothing else could possibly go wrong:

Horoscope:
“…Be prepared for things not to go your way for a while.”

No shit? So the last year has been some kind of karmic cake-walk?

I should just thank my lucky stars that the, uh, stars are giving me some sort of head’s up now.

So, let the pressure cooking continue! I can’t escape this thing no matter how hard I try. And, this is not something that a lunch or pedicure is going to improve.

And, I swear if I get ONE more email advertisement for even a store that I like with some sort of cutesy spin on tax season - I am going to scream. Loudly.