If You Can’t Take A Joke…
Posted By AmyD. on July 22, 2008
*Please Note The Following*
I wasn’t going to post this, however, my husband read it and thought it was one of the more funny things I have written in a while. My MIL reads my blog, I assume daily. There is a pretty good chance that she won’t see the humor in this and I just want to make it clear, that I wasn’t going to post it, but Mike wanted me to. He said, “Funny trumps all, Amy.” We’ll see… we’ll see.
Ever watch “Everybody Loves Raymond”? Ok, well, that’s my life minus the father-in-law (he died to escape this sort of thing, I’m convinced now) and an MIL who can cook. My MIL cannot cook, she admits this, so it’s ok, I think, to say that. But, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have opinions.
Like the time I cut my hair really short.
“Amy, I can see why Mike likes your hair short it really brings out your face… not that it makes you look any younger.”
That was said at a dinner party in front of several friends. I smiled, walked out of her line of vision and over to my kitchen cupboard where my husband could see me pretending to smash my head between the door and the rest of the cabinet.
Then there was the time she came in with a box containing several brand new sticks of Dove deodorant. She had purchased them at Costco. Later she read that certain deodorants have cancer causing chemicals that seep into your pores. In order to avoid this happening to her she gave them to me.
Last December she sent me an e-card with a snowman who gets coal for Christmas and then laughs and jams the coal into his empty eye sockets. I wasn’t sure if that meant I had been really, really bad or just blind. I made the mistake of joking about the card on my blog.
For my birthday she got me two books I had been wanting. Later after I opened them she announced to everyone at my party:
“You’ll notice I didn’t get you a card. I didn’t want to offend you again.”
I later found out that she told my husband she had no intention of ever getting me a card again.
Did I mention I’m beginning to assume she can’t take a joke?
(Watch the comments, peeps, don’t get us in anymore trouble!)
And, now for something really important… I can’t think of anyone I know who hasn’t lost someone to cancer. I’ve lost both of my grandfathers, my aunt, and my great aunt. Please read this post by Karen and if you can help in anyway, prayers, donations, sending emails, ANYTHING – please do.
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The box of deodorant is hilarious. LOL
If it will make your MIL feel any better, I freely give you permission to post all of the ridiculous stuff I have said!
you can post my ridiculous stuff, and hon? there is a lot.
donated. thanks.
And the last time you made her a fabulous 8 course dinner or gave her a washing machine was ….
If your watching Everybody Loves Raymond and you take away the cooking from the Mother in Law, uhm, you do know how to duck while running, Right?
You better hope Mike didn’t have some revenge thing going on.
Beamer
Hahahaha! You’re in for it now, huh?
Thanks for spreading the word for Lisa, lovie!
Well, at least she doesn’t think a dog could somehow evolve into a monkey! :groovy:
I’m still :rotflmao: over the deodorant!
And I thought my MIL was bad
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. ~ Dame Edna
Ahh yes, the unaware passively agressive MIL. I have one of those, except she’s my MOM….I sympathize, I do, and the sad thing is, she probably doesn’t realize how insensitive her comments are.
I say you either sit down and tell her to her face, or grin and bear it as you have been doing. Good luck!
Oh I am so glad I have the MIL I do. I have heard horror stories from some of my friends and am so glad I don’t have to deal with that crap. Don’t they understand you may have an imput down the road as to what Nursing Home they move to?
:rotflmao: The deorderant!! That is a classic keeper!!!
Laughed so loud about the deodorant that I startled my man awake, lol!
What would we write about if not for our mothers-in-law?
The deodorant episode is hysterical. :groovy:
Oh my God….that is SO like my former mother-in-law. Totally. Like the time she went on a trip and came back with gifts for her daughters and one daughter-in-law, but not me. Seeing the funny look on my face, she grabbed a magnet off her refrigerator and said, “I got this for you, I just keep forgetting to give it to you.” Yeah. Uh huh. Sure. :pttpth:
I am soooo glad we’re not related anymore.
Really funny post, Amy. I hope you get a non-toxic Christmas present this year.
J.