Posted By AmyD. on December 31, 2009

It’s been six years since I finished watching the Rose Parade and answered the phone to find my doctor on the other end asking me if I wanted to “get it over with.”

“Get it over with.”

That’s a fitting way to end the pregnancy that rendered the family and ultimately the world absolutely helpless to the tornado that is Margaret Doran. The pregnancy was, without a doubt, the most uncomfortable out of the three I had experienced. Maggie was her own fetal person and didn’t even begin to understand the concept of “fetal position” as once her legs were more than stubs in the 24/7 kegger she was throwing in my abdomen she kept them stretched out and moving nonstop. When most newborns curl themselves up into a ball after birth, our Maggs remained sprawled out, taking up as much of whatever space you had placed her in that she could.

Moments after birth the nurses had nicknamed her “MaggPipes” for her extraordinary vocal abilities and the only thing that would quiet her down was the sound of her father’s voice. Only minutes old she already knew and recognized the person who would be the easiest to wrap around her finger and manipulate to her every whim and desire.

Maggie has always done things the way Maggie wanted to do them. From birth to walking to weaning to school even. Maggie, at the very least, believes she calls her own shots and only lets mom and dad THINK they are getting their way from time to time.

It is fitting that she was born on New Year’s Day. We’ve always referred to her as our party baby

Maggie is the ultimate girly tomboy. She loves most bugs, odd creatures, and all animals. She isn’t afraid of dirt or getting dirty but loves a good candlelit bubble bath. Her favorite color is pink followed closely by green and most days she can be heard singing everything from Taylor Swift to The Ramones and Queen.

Christmas was different this year. Maggie was more than aware of what was going on and what the stakes were. After watching “The Happy Elf” and really getting that Santa’s last nice/naughty list check is on Christmas Eve it took every ounce of her willpower to maintain her good behavior. The child twitched in her sleep and giggled maniacally undoubtedly planning the havoc she would create the day after Christmas. Hell, Christmas DAY because she figured Santa was a lot like dad and probably wouldn’t make the trip allll the way back from the north pole to ungift her gifts.

Not that there weren’t some serious close calls. Like the overwhelming need to shake a bottle of beer before handing it to her mother… or the uncontrollable urge to knock her father off the pilates ball and send him rolling ass over tea kettle. Yep, by Christmas Eve Maggie was holding her “good behavior” together by a few fraying threads.

In fact, it was so bad that her “Fairy DogMother” (I have the picture of the Chihuhua on my fridge to prove it!) aka Chickie made a plea on her behalf for us to just tell Maggie that it was Christmas and she was in the clear.

Now, her Christmas stocking candy is nearly gone and being the choco-holic that she is, Maggie requested chocolate cupcakes with bananas for her birthday. I’m making a giant chocolate cupcake cake and filling it with banana pudding (she likes chocolate and bananas!) covering it with fudge frosting and liberally dousing it with candy sprinkles. I’m just going to hope she doesn’t request a margarita to wash it down with.

And, Happy New Year to you and yours. I hope 2010 brings you loads of happiness!

Categories: Holidays, My Humiliation For Your Pleasure
Tags: birthday, family, Holidays, Kids, Maggie, New Year's Day 2010