“There’s a lot of shit you take for granted in a car.” He yelled over his shoulder as we barreled down the highway.

“Yeah, like… airbags… and all that protective metal…” I yelled back.

My husband tied up a big loose end earlier this month. That loose end left a tiny loose end behind. When we started dating he used to joke that he’d pick me up for dinner on his Harley. I told him we wouldn’t be having any more dates. He picked me up in his truck instead. You see, motorcycles make me nervous. Very nervous.

For years it seemed completely ridiculous, to me, for a human being to ride around straddling a big motor, exposed to the elements, no air bags, no protective metal. It seemed incredibly reckless to fly around inches from the asphalt, vulnerable to all those asshole drivers vehicles on the road, and according to the law it’s almost guaranteed that the piece of foam/fiberglass/plastic strapped to your head is going to save you from the “worst damage” in the “worst case scenario.”

Take away the use of my arms, legs, etc. and you think I’m going to be thrilled to still be able to think/speak? Probably not. I’m all for gratitude but that’s a bit of a stretch for me.

The first night Mike took me out, my knuckles were white, I gripped his waist and held a wad of his shirt in each hand, flinching at every stop light and car that passed us. Half of me wanted to go home, the other half wanted to beat back my anxiety with that piece of plastic/foam/fiberglass strapped to my head. Even through the terror another feeling entirely stirred in me that I wasn’t anticipating…

That feeling was a ridiculous amount of free spirited giddiness that I don’t recall experiencing since the first time I flew around the lake on a single ski.

By our third ride I was comfortable and with each increasing ride I’ve grown much more so. I’m able to whip out my blackberry and snap pictures (that shadow pic above? I took that!) and my knuckles are no longer white.

I joked on facebook, “Spent part of today capturing my youth on the back of a Harley… I say “capturing” instead of “recapturing” because I, unfortunately, spent none of my youth on a Harley, but – damned well would have had I known how much fun it would be!”

Honestly, I’ve never had so much fun overcoming a fear. I consider that to be a happily tied up loose end!

And, thanks to Marianna who encouraged me to write this post when she responded to my FB status by saying: I see a blog topic in the making…what we did not do then…but maybe can do now???

Indeed!

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Check out all my posts in this “31 Days of Tying Up Loose Ends” series here.

And, you can check out all the other 31 Dayers here!