I’m going to be a bit bitchy here. Can I just say that I am sick of people (oh, and this in NO WAY implicates any of you, you kick-ass readers you! No bloggy drama here!!!) who can’t answer an email or have to rely on fax machines for every ass-wiping thing they have to do? And, I’m completely sick of people who can’t keep their fucking stories straight. In the last week I’ve had one person tell me the same thing 3 times and then get on the phone with my husband and tell him something ENTIRELY OPPOSITE.

I’m up to my neck in bullshit here and I just don’t think I can take one more second of it. Not one. I am so filled with anxiety and stress that I just don’t think I can come up with one more coherent sentence. And, I am sure that someone, somewhere is going to ask, “What? What happened?” let’s just say that through a massive, 2 year, series of events, I am finally convinced (although, let’s be honest, I don’t DO private around here, so even the you probably won’t get what I am saying) that I am destined to just be shit on. Period. No matter how hard I try… that is just IT. The fucking End.

And, yes, I know that tomorrow morning I am going to get up absolutely SICK that I decided to post such a pathetic excuse for a post. I know… believe me, I know. But, right now…. I don’t care because everything is tiny, stupid and superficial to someone, somewhere and somehow. So, what the fuck does it matter that TINY, STUPID and SUPERFICIAL all wind up here in ONE day? Right? Right.

- Crazy woman shutting up now. Carry on….

It’s Friday (please God, if it isn’t, don’t tell me!) and I’m tired. This week has been one long pain in the ass. Therefore, I totally robbed this meme from Kapgar. If Crys is the Culinary Queen (which she TOTALLY is!) then I think he must be the Culinary King.

Ooo, and it’s sort of interactive if you want to play along.

1. Put your mp3 player or music player on your computer on random.
2. Post the first four lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (skip repeat artists).
3. Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
4. Don’t fucking cheat, you Google whores!

1.
Sometimes we make it harder than it is.
We take the perfect night and fill it up
with words we don’t mean dark sides best unseen
and we wonder why we’re feeling this way.

2.
Baby don’t understand why we can’t just hold on
to each other’s hands
This time might be the last I fear unless
I make it all too clear

3.
I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather
But traditions I can trace against the child in your face
Wont escape my attention

4.
Long ago and oh so far away
I fell in love with you
before the second show
your guitar it sounds so sweet and clear

5.
Just when I believed
I couldn’t ever want for more
this ever changing world
pushes me through another door.

6.
Just the good ol’ boys
never meanin’ no harm
beats all you ever saw
been in trouble with the law…

7.
Well I lost my heart
on the day we met
but I gained a lot that I don’t regret
then I hung around ’til you said I do.

8.
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we’ll see
No I won’t be afraid, no I won’t be afraid

9.
What I want you’ve got
And it might be hard to handle
Like the flame that burns the candle
The candle feeds the flame, yeah, yeah

10.
Sometimes I feel I’ve got to
Run away I’ve got to
Get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me

11.
Ive been meaning to tell you
Ive got this feelin that wont subside
I look at you and I fantasize
You are mine tonight

12.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
Id love you to love me.
Im beggin you to beg me.

13.
I’m no stranger to the rain
I’m a friend of thunder
friend, is it any wonder
lightening strikes me?

14.
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, dont patronize - dont patronize me

15.
Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world

16.
Clock strikes upon the hour
And the sun begins to fade
Still enough time to figure out
How to chase my blues away

17.
When your baby leaves you all alone
And nobody calls you on the phone
Ah, don’t you feel like crying?
Don’t you feel like crying?

18.
I waited ’til I saw the sun
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I left you by the house of fun
I don’t know why I didn’t come

19.
All of me
why not take all of me
can’t you see
I’m no good without you

20.
I can hear your heels clicking on the sidewalk
Beating to the rhythm of my heart
Caught up in you
You’re the only one I want

Avitable started this one and I thought it was pretty cool… so here it is.

(the above is code for - WOO HOO!! AN ORIGINAL MEME!!! YIPPEE DAMN DOODLE!!!)

Oh and before y’all get on with the meme and my movie watching (or lack thereof) I want you to get your cute tushies over to Zube’s and welcome her back to the blogging world. Once upon a time she used to rawk the blogosphere what with Brad Pitt stalking her, her husband being an assmonkey (did I mention she’s married to a MIKE? Odd, that I am collecting friends with husbands of the same name as mine) and loads of raw, emotional stuff that makes us all dream to be better bloggers. But, then she gave all that up to be a rockin’ mom to the lovely Cora Jane. She’s still a rockin’ mom, but now she’s back to blogging and the blogosphere may commence with rejoicing. Go… Go now… send her love. /hero worship.

Now on with the meme… (blessed be the Church of Holy Avitableness for this offering) I’ve bolded the movies that I’ve watched and put asterisks next to the ones that I liked. Feel free to do this yourself if you do - let me know!

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)**
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)**
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) **
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)**
9. Die Hard (1988)**
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) **
12. The Matrix (1999)**
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)**
21. Schindler’s List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986) **
25. Shrek (2001)**
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)**
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989)**
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)**
34. Fargo (1996)**
35. The Incredibles (2004) **
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)**
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)**
40. Speed (1994)**
41. Dazed and Confused (1993) **
42. Clueless (1995)**
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)**
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)**
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)**
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)**
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)**
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)**
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985) **
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987) ** Remake of Cary Grant movie, His Girl Friday**
71. Unforgiven (1992)**
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)**
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)**
82. Lost in Translation (2003)**
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)**
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)**
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)**
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

My always and forever blog hero is Zube Girl. I love this woman, she’s amazing and brilliant. But, then she went and got knocked up, had a beautiful baby and totally started being more of a mom than a blogger. Can you believe that? Pfft. (totally kidding here!) I have forgiven her because she gave birth to the most beautiful little girl on the planet. Well, aside from my girls, of course, but I’m a mom and it’s in my contract to say that. Besides I totally know Kari will agree with me on this anyway and all of her kids are totally freakin’ cute too.

Anyway, so Zube went and wrote this post about her favorite songs. Her songs are matched to very poignant and sometimes painful times in her life and she mentioned she liked to hear what music speaks to other people. As you probably know, music is one of my greatest escapes, in fact, I’m blaring Queen in my ears right now as I write this.

As part of my “100 Things” series, I decided to list my top 10 favorite songs. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion I have probably done this before… but maybe not. And, if so - pfft, whatever.

This is actually pretty tough for me because I love a lot of different types of music. My heart belongs to Old Standards and Big Band, seriously. Sinatra, Dorsey, The Andrews Sisters, Bing… I could go on and on. I love every song Harry Connick Jr. has written, performed, and recorded whether it’s instrumental or includes his absolutely magical vocals. So to narrow it down to ten songs, that’s just really tough. In fact, to actually list a song as one of my favorites it has to be a song that I can listen to over and over, tug at my heart, bring back memories, or just make me really, really FEEL and be IN the moment, know what I mean?

So in no particular order (because that would make my head explode) here are my top 10 favorite songs:

1. I Was Born To Love You - Queen, I have always loved Queen. Ethan went through a Queen phase where all he listened to was Queen and he even learned to play, Love of My Life, on the piano. I can’t hear Queen without thinking of Ethan.

2. The Way You Look Tonight - Steve Tyrell, Frank Sinatra (who could pick a version!), this is the song that Mike and I had our first dance to. The entire wedding soundtrack was mainly set to the Father of the Bride soundtrack. I can’t hear this song without getting all warm, fuzzy, and squishy inside.

3. Simple Things - Amy Grant, this song has become my personal mantra, if that makes sense. Which is why the lyrics are listed on my MySpace.

I dream of simple things
I can believe in
Like the feeling this day brings
True love and the miracle of forgiving
I believe in simple things

4. Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra, Ol’ Blue Eyes never fails to get to me.

5. My Blue Heaven - Harry Connick Jr., I love Harry, but this song, his version, is just so up and happy. I never fail to grin when he sings, “Just Jillie and me and baby makes three, we’re happy in my blue heaven.”

6. Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen, my official Friday night song. I love this song, it puts me in a good place mentally every time I hear it.

7. Come Fly With Me - Frank Sinatra, the most romantic invitation ever.

8. On The Street Where You Live - Harry Connick Jr., this song is really special because, while I have always loved My Fair Lady, I love Harry’s version the best so I put it on my birthing CD for when I was in labor with Maggie. Later I would sing it to her in the shower, she was so tiny curled up on my chest letting the hot water hit her back, she would always fall asleep as I sang it to her.

9. Agnus Dei - Amy Grant, this one and her version of “O Come All Ye Faithful” just make me know that there is something greater and bigger than me out there. My soul moves with this music especially, as if it is truly connected to something sacred and wonderful. I grew up listening to Amy Grant, every Sunday my mom would put on a record while we got ready for church. Amy Grant was played pretty often and her music (Angels, El Shaddai, Sing Your Praise) always takes me back to a very special time before anything bad ever really happened.

10. Love Has A Hold On Me - Amy Grant, that’s it. That’s the ultimate, no matter how bad it gets, no matter what happens, it’s all the same in the end. I can’t really do this song justice without putting Amy’s lyrics here:

I have found a perfect mystery
Love has a hold on me
Long before my life had come to be
Love had a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

Where do I come from
Where does life mean
Is it not to know the one who made me

As I’m looking down the road ahead
Love has a hold on me
Someday when I breathe my dying breath
Love has a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

Where will I go
When this life is through
Back into the light that made me and you

Love has a hold on me
Something opened up my eyes to see
Love has a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

I don’t have answers to all the questions
Running inside of my mind
But I cant help but believe that
Understanding comes in time

Love has a hold on me
Something opened up my eyes to see
Love has a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

If I run, if I hide, I know inside
Your love has a hold on me
Tell me yes, tell me no, my heart will follow
Your love has a hold on me

If I run, if I hide
Your love has a hold on me
Your love has a hold on me
Your love has a hold on me
Hold on me

I love to try almost anything. I’ve eaten chocolate covered ants from Hot Lix - yes, they are good. Actually, they taste like chocolate covered rice krispies. I haven’t tried the grasshoppers or scorpions, yet. I’m not incredibly picky, although I hate raw onions and on the rare occasions that I go to McDonald’s I always order my burgers without onions.

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I’ve seen these around and, quite frankly, I’m a little at a loss for blog words these days and this looked like a great way to make the next ten Mondays a bit easier. I might be crazy, but I thought an attempt at structure (once a week… ha!) might be a good thing.

Continue Reading »

You know, there are always things that you wish you could say but don’t for whatever reasons. I finally decided to get a few things off my chest.

Continue Reading »

Avi started a meme on his blog. And since he proclaimed to the world that I am indeed a Really Awesome Person I decided to play along.

Just answer these five questions on your blog, and then come up with five new ones for your readers to answer on their respective blogs, etc. And link back to here.

1. Out of all of the posts you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

The one about the hamster being sucked up the vacuum. Why? Why is a classic a classic? I don’t think anyone can really answer it.

Truthfully? It’s the best damn post I’ve ever written and nothing before or after has had quite the zing and still gives me the little thrill that that post does. Thank God for Sinatra, may he rest in peace. (Both the hamster and the crooner!)

2. Out of all of the posts I’ve written that you’ve read, which is your favorite and why?

Fishing, fishing, fishing. And, yet, brilliant - you link whore, you!

The one where you babysat Britt’s kids and provided a time line of your day complete with artwork.

3. Which do you find the most frightening and why? A radically fundamentalist Christian, a moderate Muslim, a pretentious atheist, or a Scientologist?

Frightening? Do you even have to ask this? Of me? Fine. A radically fundamentalist Christian.

4. Rather than discuss the typical characteristics of someone you’d desire (sense of humor, good body, etc.), I’m going to focus on the little details. Rank them in order of preference, with #7 being the one you consider more important than the others and #1 being the one you consider the least important:

1. Good fashion sense,
2. Ability to dance well,
3. Encyclopedic knowledge,
4. Odorless feet,
5. Quick-wittedness,
6. Even tempered nature, and
7. Likes the same music, movies, and/or television

6,7,5,4,1,3,2

5. If you were going to be trapped on a remote island for the rest of your life with one other person, which would you choose and why?

A. Your spouse or s.o.
B. Your celebrity crush
C. Your best friend
D. MacGyver
E. One of your parents or children

Why? Well, that is probably the only scenario in which we would get uninterrupted time together.

If you decide to do Avitable’s Querypalooza, just let me know so I can laud you with praise, comments, and semen.

If by “semen” you mean “MONEY” than cool, if not, please, I’ll take the first two and you can send the last to Britt. It won’t be fresh by the time it gets to me, anyway.

***** Avitable’s Amy’s Querypalooza *****

Same rules as above apply, only these are my 5 questions for YOU, dear reader.

1. Out of all of the posts I’ve written that you’ve read, which is your favorite and why?

2. What is the deciding factor in whether or not you do a meme on your blog?

3. The most annoying trait your best friend in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL had?

4. What was the first song/album that you obtained/chose where you really felt like a “grown up” as if you were really making your own choices?

5. As a child was any type of music forbidden in your house? If so, what and why?

Ok, once again, the rules are “Just answer these five questions on your blog, and then come up with five new ones for your readers to answer on their respective blogs, etc. And link back to here.”

Let me know if you decide to do it!!

Brazenly (blatantly? Over zealously? Wickedly? Naughtily? Is that a word?) stole this one from the notorious (infamous? Never mind.) Avitable.

Rarely do I hop on a meme, but this one was irresistible. Ok, it was irresistible after I clicked on the links below and saw what my answers would be. LOL

Let’s make a band:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Now take your pic, add the band name and title to it, then post it.

Mine is below (click to make it bigger!):

Have a great weekend!!!!

You Are Dancer

Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance. Why You’re Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa’s private dancer. Why You’re Nice: You’re friendly. Very friendly.

Oh come on! There are lots of better reasons why I’m naughty… :evil:

I’ve been tagged by Not A Typical Granny (aka Trish) for the Telephone Meme. I actually remember playing this game as a kid.

(start copy)
Remember when we were kids and at every opportunity, some adult would have us play that silly Telephone game? You know… the one where the lead person comes up with a sentence or statement, whispers it into the ear of the next person in line, and the sentence is passed from person to person until it reaches the end of the line. The last person then repeats the sentence out loud, the first person announces what it actually was, and everyone gets to laugh about how goofy it got by being passed from ear to ear and being altered because of mispronunciations and hearing ability.

Of course I realize that the game was simply a means for adults to keep us in line while we were waiting for something or killing time. Haven’t we even now as adults, tried to use it on our own kids?

Being the silly kind of fracas that I am, I’ve decided to create an internet version of the game, and use it as an opportunity for link-getting. Everyone wants links, and yet lots of people I know, prefer to get their links in a non-obvious kind of way. We’ve all done the “copy this list and create a post and you’ll get links” type of tag… at least once, but most of us don’t want to fill our blogs with those posts. It may get links, but eventually will chase readers away.
This is a fun way to give your readers something entertaining to read and get a few links too.
Instructions:

If you’ve been tagged, check the last entry on the list. Copy this entire post, add your name and link to the end of the list, copy the sentence in the previous person’s entry and change ONE word in it to try and change the meaning of the sentence for your entry. Name and link only ONE person to tag and then post the whole thing as a new entry in your own blog. Please make sure to transfer all the links to your post otherwise you aren’t providing fair linkage to the people before you. Although this will take longer to get around, by tagging only one person you will avoid making mass enemies by having to tag many people, and it will also guarantee only one true version of the game is circulating out there.

Fracas, the creator, will attempt to keep tabs on the game and periodically report on it.

Please try not to tag someone you see is already on the list. If you’re on the list, have been tagged again by someone who didn’t pay attention to the instructions and you don’t want to do another turn, please leave a comment at this post over at Fracas, and Fracas will take your turn for you in order to keep the list going.

1. Fracas - http://fracas.wordpress.com/ writes:Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

2. Mark @ Blogitude - http://www.blogitude.com/ writes:Never continue dating anyone who is nude to the waiter.

3. Wiggy @ http://damewigginsoflee.wordpress.com/ writes:Forever continue dating anyone who is nude to the waiter.

4. Froggy @ The Road Less Traveled - http://froglette79.wordpress.com/ writes:Forever continue dating anyone who is nude under the waiter.

5. InTheFastLane@ That’s Life - http://thatslifev2.blogspot.com/ writes:Forever continue dating anyone who is nude under the water.

6. Treadmillista @ Just Treadmilling Around - http://treadmillinginplace.blogspot.com/ writes:Forever continue dating everyone who is nude under the water.

7. Christine @ Watch Me! No, Watch Me! - http://watchmenowatchme.blogspot.com/writes:Forever continue watching everyone who is nude under the water.

8. Candace @ not that i don’t love my kids - http://notthatidontlovemykids.blogspot.com/ writes:Forever continue scratching everyone who is nude under the water.

9. Fracas - http://fracas.wordpress.com/ writes:Forever avoid scratching everyone who is nude under the water.

10. Bluepaintred - http://www.bluepaintred.com/ writes:Never avoid scratching everyone who is nude under the water.

11. Shelli - http://shellis-sentiments.com/ - Never avoid kissing everyone who is nude under the water.

12.Judy- Sugar Queen’s Dream.Never avoid kissing everyone who is nude under the blankets.

13. Trish @ Not Your Typical Granny-Never avoid spanking everyone who is nude under the blankets.

14. Amy @ Amy’s Musings - Never try spanking everyone who is nude under the blankets.

Ok, let’s see what Tense @ Tense Teacher can do with this one.