*opens door, peeks in, sighs heavily, shuts door*

This blog, oy, it’s become that room in the house where all the stuff goes that you don’t have the time to organize or find a place for. I know it’s here waiting for me, I just haven’t been very attentive lately. It’s okay because I’m sure I haven’t been missed. I am not absurd enough to think I make even a remote ripple in the blogosphere.

The weather has warmed up and it’s been too nice to sit in front of a computer. It’s actually been too nice to do any of those responsible things one is supposed to be doing, but I manage anyway. Barely.

Guess what you get? One of those lists of all the things I’ve done or been doing since I haven’t been posting here much.

1.) Blake Shelton concert with my awesome daughter, Katie. Worth every second and the beer spilled on us from the obnoxious women in the seats behind us. We (Kate and I) are DIE HARD fans.

2.) I’ve been woefully addicted to The Voice on NBC, mainly because of Blake Shelton and Adam Levine.

3.) I’ve DVR’d every instance of Big Bang Theory re-run and new episode that I can find and have watched them all numerous times. I’m addicted and I’m a HUGE fan of Sheldon Cooper.

4.) I spend a ridiculous amount of time on Facebook.

(it now occurs to me that most of these things have nothing to do with the weather or why I’ve been outside a lot and instead seem to undermine my main excuse.)

5.) I’ve planted 64 marigolds only to find that my ridiculous chicken, B.B., went through them all and ate all the foliage off of each and every plant. Now I’m on death watch. For the flowers, not the bird – don’t get me wrong, the bird is in the “iffy” category.

6.) I did a ridiculous happy dance / snoopy shuffle when I found that my lilac tree has BUDS, as in actual FLOWER BUDS!!!! Mike is still rather smug because he claims to have predicted it blooming this year when all research had us believing it would not. There aren’t any flowers yet so his “I was right dance” is on hold for now.

7.) I celebrated Katie turning 17 for a full week. We like to stretch the birthdays out around here. A good friend also had her birthday a few days after Kate’s so we ended the week at local restaurant celebrating complete with singing waiters/waitresses!

8.) Easter, egg painting, egg hunts, copious amounts of chocolate.

9.) Spring Break!!!!!!

(this entire list is out of order and I have not had enough coffee to give even the remotest of a damn)

10.) We converted Maggie’s sandbox to a raised garden. Maggie and I have been tending to tomatoes, bell peppers, eggplant, squash, and strawberries. We’re currently germinating some watermelon and cucumber seeds.

That’s it. Super boring. But, not so boring that I had the time or inclination to, you know, update around here.

I wouldn’t recommend planning a big weekend family party the same weekend that the time changes.

Or as Mike’s cousin, Jessica, puts it:

“Yeah especially when you party hard that night lol 1:59am-3:00am sucks lol”

Exactly.

Mike hasn’t really seen his aunt or cousins in more than 10 years. They live in San Pedro, CA (where Mike was born) and we live almost 3 hours away. You never want it to, but life gets in the way. People have kids and get married and start lives.

It took several weeks to plan it all out but this weekend worked and the weather was certainly on our side. Saturday afternoon family arrived. Mike’s aunt, Michelle (his dad’s only sibling) and her three kids (Genee, Melissa, and Tommy) and their kids. I can’t say enough good things about everyone. They are all so wonderful, smart and genuinely funny. Jessica is Genee’s daughter, she is a sweetheart and she has the most amazing fiancé, George, who is so warm and wonderful, interesting to talk to and absolutely hilarious. Genee’s son, Stephen, is Katie’s age and is very funny and ridiculously sweet. Melissa and her husband Jason (who bears a striking resemblance to Zac Brown of the Zac Brown Band, in the best way possible) have two adorable (UNDERSTATEMENT) little girls, Maya and Zuri. Tommy (looks like Vince Vaughn, I swear) has a wonderful girlfriend, Mallory, and a cute daughter, Layla, who has these ginormous, gorgeous blue eyes.

Maggie was beside herself. Three little girls all in a similar age bracket. They were fast friends and had so much fun that no one wanted to leave on Sunday.

Cousins (l-r) Stephen, Maggie, Layla, Maya, Katie, Zuri

(Thank God, Melissa had the genius thought to take this pic.)

Then there were the adults. Mike’s family is notorious for loving life, which is Doran code for large, loud parties well lubricated with alcohol. I made a big pitcher of margaritas (approved by the family’s two professional bartenders!) and that was the first of roughly 4 pitchers that night. Everyone seemed determined to make up for lost time and no matter where you went kitchen, patio, or family room people were laughing and talking like no time had passed and even the people we had just met were like old friends.

Mike grilled 3 huge tri-tips, 4 chickens, and hot dogs. It was a full blown barbecue feast that everyone seemed to really enjoy. Then the guys had cigars out on the patio and the time flew by. I have a couple of semi-dark blurry pictures but we were all having so much fun that my camera was left in the other room completely forgotten. I can’t tell you how much I regret that now.

We laughed so much and there were so many conversations that never actually finished, we jumped from topic to topic like schizophrenic monkeys. The last time we had seen any of them, Katie was 3 and she and Melissa had a mutual adoration society going then. It wasn’t any different this time. All the girls crowded around the patio laughing and teasing the guys as they popped in and out of conversations.

Around 3am I found myself in the kitchen with Tommy, Jessica, George and Mike. The guys had moved on to Maker’s Mark with their cigars. Everyone else had filtered upstairs and all the little girls were sound asleep in the family room floor.

We woke up Sunday morning to all the little girls giggling and screaming while Stephen chased them around. Watching all these people interact was a little bittersweet, I’m not going to lie. I thought of all the years between visits and what a tight-knit, wonderful family they have. Everyone was always in sync even amid the utter chaos, herding the little ones and everyone watching out for everyone else. It made me sad that we live so far away and don’t share quite the same bond that they do. The sweet side is that we also felt so immediately accepted and very much a part of the clan.

We piled into cars and drove to a local restaurant, Hodel’s, for breakfast with Melissa proclaiming loudly, “Embrace your funk!” when people started discussing showers or anything that might delay the food and coffee that we required. Nothing is better than taking people from out of town to a local joint and having it be a raving success. Hodel’s is “old school” around here and my family has eaten there from time-to-time since long before I was born. It was awesome getting to share that with everyone and having them enjoy it so much!

Most of us were bleary eyed and sporting mild headaches but the laughter and fun continued right up until everyone had to say goodbye. All the little girls were sad and not ready to leave, isn’t that great? You know you’ve done something special when no one wants to go home. I’ve never had so many house guests at once and it was the most fun I’ve had in a very long time. I can’t wait to do it again, hopefully soon.

I turned 36 last week. Seriously, 36… and I’m just not vain enough to lie about my age. Mostly because I’m not noticing any new wrinkles or crow’s feet and I’m okay that the reason for this is simply because my face is just pudgy enough to fill them out.

Gray hairs… nope. None of those, thankfully. Although, who could tell, considering my stylist talked me into a platinum blonde streak (just one, bold and up front) and a few, ahem, teal peek-a-boo chunks hidden underneath here and there.

I’m happy, it’s cheaper than a sports car, boob lift, younger boyfriend and far more exciting than a rest home. ( Elder Care Portland )

I’m thinner this year than I have been in probably oh… 4 years at least. In fact, all my jeans are my skinny jeans even if skinny is in the eye of the beholder.

What did I do for this momentous occasion?

Earlier this month my husband gifted me with an early present, a Kindle Fire. One of my dearest friends, Chickie, sent me a box full of the most delicious smelling bath bombs on the planet just barely outdoing the shotglass/necklace and dancing chicken card from last year!

On my birthday my husband made me dinner and I was presented with a gift that almost got me a little teary. Non-plant people probably won’t get this… but through the years I’ve always had “dream plants” my husband always smiles and usually goes along with whatever I want to grow at the time. I’ve had beautiful hydrangeas, roses, butterfly bushes and crepe myrtles all gifts for my birthday, Mother’s Day or Easter.

But the Holy Grail, for me anyway, has always been a lilac tree. Holy Grail, indeed, I even found an old post mentioning my desire for a lilac tree:

My great grandmother used to say that the best cure for a headache was putting your hands in the dirt. She was absolutely right. What I would give to have the lilac tree that my grandmother transplanted to her backyard from my great grandmother’s yard!

My grandmother had a lilac tree in the backyard and it was easily one of my favorites of her plants. I knew she had grown it as a cutting from her mother and I believe it was from an original tree in Oklahoma. I had never really seen them around here or available at nurseries and so had given up on ever having one of my own.

Until a few weekends ago when a sunny day sent me perusing the garden section at Lowe’s. They had a huge selection of bare root lilacs. I sort of looked like Agnes in that scene from Despicable Me with the unicorn, there was all sorts of gasping and ooo’ing and ahh’ing and “I MUST HAVE THIS!!!!!!”

Mike grumbled, began asking questions like, where was I going to plant it? How big would it get? Was it going to be like that butterfly bush that has to be fought back from eating his redwoods 200 times a year?

My husband deserves a Golden Globe or Oscar or something because I barely spoke to him for the rest of the day for “dashing my dreams” and his follow up to the act at Lowe’s was to pretend he didn’t notice how annoyed I was with him.

Fast forward to my birthday when I was presented with what Maggie described as “an AMAZING CARD!!!!” which was a giant pop-up card with all sorts of cute, cartoon animals on it. I was later told it took her almost 45 minutes to pick out my birthday card (she took her assignment VERY seriously) and she probably molested every card with a puppy, kitty or other cute animal on it in the stands before selecting this card for it’s unique “pop up” feature.

After much time spent ooo’ing and aaah’ing (I do a ridiculous amount of this, no?) my TRULY AMAZING CARD (just in case Maggie reads this) I was presented with a lilac tree. Not just any lilac, but one my husband and daughter spent about as much time as Maggie with the birthday card, selecting just for me.

I’m really proud of it, but I’m going to spare you a full length picture because it’s only about 18″ tall and is essentially some sticks on a very short, skinny trunk. BUT… check out this beauty of a bud!!!!

I might have some LEAVES this year!!!!!!!

Maggie is 8 years old now. I cannot believe it. In fact, I am in denial so deeply that it has taken me over a week to write this post when her birthday is actually on New Year’s Day.

She fell asleep early and didn’t make midnight on New Year’s Eve. The next morning we made breakfast, loaded up in the car and drove up to Glenville, CA to go hiking, eat pizza and watch Maggie enjoy a ginormous piece of home made banana cream pie. I will tell you that no banana cream pie I have ever had comes close to the pie up at Hassano’s in Glenville.

Maggie is a unique combination of Mike and I. Mike likes to say that she has his sense of humor and my temper which = laugh at my jokes or I’ll kill you. It’s mostly true, although my temper really isn’t that bad and rarely do you have to threaten anyone to laugh at one of Mike’s jokes.

Maggie is mostly just her own unique self. While her parents wage a facebook debate on whether or not right or left socks exist (Mike believes in them religiously, Kate and I find it ridiculous and our friends seem to be split down the middle), Maggie hates to wear socks at all and can often be found jamming her feet into her Ugg boots barefoot.

Like her sister, she hates asparagus but loves broccoli. Unlike her sister, she isn’t fond of sushi but will threaten to cut anyone trying to take a bite of her shrimp fried rice. She insists on “salad” (usually fresh spinach) on every sandwich, but isn’t a fan of salads on their own unless we’re out at a restaurant. She’s not a big fan of peanut butter and jelly. She considers it a tragedy not to have a bowl of chicken noodle soup (even in the dead heat of summer) with her sandwiches. And, almost without fail, she insists on a doggy bag every time we go out to eat because “it’s so good I want to have it for breakfast or maybe later tonight for a snack!”

Maggie is the animal activist of the house. When her scorpion died a few months ago she sobbed for most of the day. Weeks and even months later she will tear up remembering Luke. Almost every night of summer vacation was spent chasing her turtle, Joe, around and fishing him out of our pond. Cut to this winter when a field mouse managed to find its way into the house and I discovered a different side of Maggie.

Maggie was very interested in the mouse traps. I was concerned that perhaps she didn’t realize what a mouse trap would really do to the intruder. Maggie overheard me voicing my concern to Mike (who was getting ready to show Maggie how a trap is set and how it works) she flew around the corner and said, “MOM! I’ve watched EVERY FREAKIN’ EPISODE of Billy the Exterminator! I KNOW how a mouse trap works!”

Later that night… “MOM!!! We caught him! He’s dead… he was so cute, I almost feel bad. They are dirty creatures…”

Not too long ago Maggie gave me a nickname, Mother Kadam (KUH-dam) Pooskie, no clue where or how she came up with it, but it cracks me up. She told Katie once, “If you call mom, Mother Kadam Pooskie, she almost always says yes.” Maggie isn’t really manipulative as much as she just calls a spade a spade and works the system to her advantage whenever possible.

Today my little 8 year old is still on Christmas break and managed to come down with a nasty cold to finish off her winter vacation. She has spent her day tucked in quilts on the couch, dozing, sipping hot cider and watching cartoons. Every once in a while I’ll hear, “Mother Kadam Pooskie…” followed by a request of the usual sick child variety. As usual, she’s working the system to her advantage, it’s an enviable life, that’s for sure.

I’m all about nurturing the self-esteem of my children. No really, I am. You know, when it’s necessary and all that jazz.

Normally, I would give pause and really become concerned about what telling a story involving a burn that looks like a hickey might do to the child with the burn-that-looks-like-a-hickey. Except, the moral of the story (yes, even burns-that-look-like-hickeys have morals) is that said wearer of said offensive burn clearly has solid self-esteem. Here’s how I know that now:

Katie was curling her hair with her ginormous, super hot curling iron that does not curl her hair all that well but does, in fact, burn her skin brilliantly. We found out later at the hair salon that everyone has done this, it’s awesomely funny and yes, Katie needs a curling iron that gets far hotter than the one she has. We need the hair to curl and the burns to blister instantly to avoid burns-that-look-like-hickeys and also, your mother writing blog posts like this. Moving on.

A side note to this story is that I am taking my life in my own hands writing it. This was more of a subconscious fear until Katie walked through the room in her crazy plaid pajama pants and I broke out in a cold sweat hoping she might not ask what I am typing so furiously over here in my little corner.

Our story begins in the bathroom one morning as Katie was getting ready for school. Katie was curling her hair with the crappy, but super hot curling iron and she burned her neck. Not enough to blister, because everyone knows hickeys do not blister, but enough to leave a rosy, red blotch on her neck.

Surprisingly, kids in high school do not care if you have a red blotch on your neck, under your ear. Not because everyone is sporting them but because hickeys are just so darn cliche` and “The Breakfast Club” called and would like their teen angst and fake ID back.

Guess who does care? Your father picking you up from school. Not because he thinks you have a real hickey but because you complain you have a giant burn that looks like a hickey.

Mike asked, “Do you want to run some errands with me?”

“Sure.” Kate replied.

“Then you’ll have to cover up your hickey.”

Kate, not skipping a beat, “Bitch, take me home.”

So you see, my child is not lacking in self-esteem. Even with a hickey-burn which has now faded to a lovely golden crisp that no longer resembles a hickey.

A conversation on Facebook last night… regurgitated here for your amusement.

Amy: “Maggie don’t touch that… Put it down… Don’t touch that!!!” …

And… guess who just ripped out a hunk of her hair jacking around with one of those “spring” hair removers?

Marissa: Ow!


Amy: She’s okay… She’s Maggie which = supernatural resilience and thank God, no bald spot.


Kari: I’d like to say that now she knows better and next time will listen to you when you tell her not to do something… but really she probably needed the hair follicles for some DNA replicating and she did it on purpose.


Amy: Now that you mention it… She did try to snatch the hair out of the spring and take off…


Marissa: Check her closet. All the good mad doctors have labs in their closet.


Kari: But she is pretty smart and knows that you would check the closet, so she would hide the entrance. But then she knows that you know she is pretty smart and would guess that she would hide it some place other than the closet… so it just may be there!

Marissa: Good Lord, is she Sicilian too?!

Kari: Inconceivable!

Marissa: Amy, watch your drinks for Iocaine powder.

Kari: and never get involved in a land war in Asia!

Marissa: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Amy: LMAO – and now I finally have a blog post. Thank you Goddesses of FB.

Marissa: hehehe- that’s what we’re here for!

For the record, The Princess Bride is a classic and it’s perfectly acceptable that three grown women would quote it in a regular conversation. Then again, conversations about Maggie are rarely ever “regular”.

I’m turning a blind eye to the recent winter storm spring rain that has blown through here over the last 24 hours. Today it’s sunny and the skies are blue and clear, I haven’t gone outside yet but I have it on good authority that it’s really chilly for April.

Blind eye… so yeah, I’m inside, looking out at the beautiful weather and I’m planning spring updates to my yard. Maggie’s summer 2011 adventures are going to include… get this… a teepee. The sandbox her father and brother built for her is now being transformed into a platform for a teepee.

Originally, Maggie had delusions that she was Richie Rich or something and was requesting something roughly in the neighborhood of her own condo in the backyard. Her list of demands requests included: a refrigerator, television, DVD player, Wii or Xbox (love the flexibility), and a snoopy snow cone machine.

What she is getting is a solid platform, teepee and unlimited use of her extensive imagination. But, if she plays her cards right I might throw in some solar powered twinkle lights and a brand new LED lantern.

The new teepee will be positioned over the old sandbox, under a beautiful redwood tree and right near the wine barrel fountain that contains the wild trout of death.

Around the same time we will be spreading out a new batch of landscape mulch. Something dark and woodsy looking that smells great right after the sprinklers have run through their cycle and the 105+ degree heat turns the backyard into a humid jungle just as the sun is setting.

The front yard needs to be mulched as well but I’m actually considering some sort of eco-friendly, recycled rubber mulch maybe something like RubberecyclePlaysafer Rubber Mulch. It’s just a thought. At the moment we have the original hideous red mulch that originally came in our front yard and I hate it. The longer it is out in the sun the lighter and more orangey-red it becomes. It’s unnatural looking and it’s got to go. As soon as possible.

Saturday we watched the clouds roll in and out. Mike and I were out running errands and debating whether or not to pick up a few packs of pansies and violas to plant in the front yard because we had no idea whether or not we’d end up with dry enough weather to enjoy planting them with the kids.

Mid-afternoon serendipity struck giving the girls and I just enough time to sink a lovely border of spring colored beauties along the front flower bed. I think I might head out to another nursery this weekend to pick up more because the border is still a little too sparse for my taste. I’ll have to keep my fingers crossed for more decent weather because according to the forecast we have storms coming in. I’m really tired of winter and very much looking forward to spring.

It’s not the rain I’m tired of us a much as it is the chilly temps. I’ve had enough of “curl up by the fire” weather and am really looking forward to “get out in the sunshine” weather instead. Mike and Maggie are campaigning hard to get the rest of the family to go along with their plan to attend a catfish fishing derby. I’m less than thrilled with the idea but Maggie seems to have caught the fishing bug and is determined to go.

At the moment I’m trying to ignore the seeming coincidence between my trip to the doctor last week for an annual physical and the odd cough I’ve developed this week. There is something inherently wrong with a basic “well” physical resulting in a cold. I just need to keep Mike from noticing it because he leaps on any excuse to make soup in ginormous batches. It’s difficult to tell the difference between “comfort” food and “favorite” food when it comes to soup, sandwiches and Mike.

In case you didn’t know, I boycott the StuporBowl. Seriously. I know that makes me all anti-American and what-not, I’m totally okay with it. I sort of have the same feeling about it that Zube Girl does, which actually makes me feel better about my whole boycotting thing.

I’m just going to go right along and assume this means you are totally curious as to what I might have been doing instead of eating nachos, chili, chips and dips or whatever else is popular at SuperBowl parties these days. No fears! I’m totally ready to tell you complete with pictures!

It just so happens that earlier this week I caught an episode of Paula Deen’s show, Paula’s Best Dishes, on FoodNetwork and decided I had to make Chewy Cake. I am a huge Paula Deen fan and I’ve honestly never made a recipe of hers that didn’t turn out phenomenally and become a requested item around the ol’ casa.

So, Sunday afternoon Katie and I headed into the kitchen to whip up a batch of Chewy Cake. Around here we usually stick to desserts and treats that are built around chocolate. This one had chocolate but that wasn’t the main theme of this dessert. The ingredients really all work together so that there isn’t one particular flavor or item that stands out more than others, which is good considering it has both coconut and pecans and I wouldn’t classify either of those as favorites of mine.

I’m so glad I decided to make this. It’s so decadent, chewy, delicious and best of all, easy to make! The batter is a little stiff and sticky but it’s not hard to work with. If you are wanting to pile them up on a plate all pretty, then definitely let them cool. Katie and I aren’t big on waiting and we like just about any dessert fresh out of the oven and as warm and gooey as possible.

This reminded me of Tollhouse Pie as soon as I tried it so I had to pull the ice cream out of the freezer and Katie grabbed the chocolate syrup and the end result was this:

Chewy Cake ala Mode

and one more pic because, trust me, this is so worth appreciating:

Chewy Cake ala Mode

And, here is the recipe if you are inclined to whip up a batch yourself. I highly recommend it, it got rave reviews from everyone in the house!

Paula Deen’s Chewy Cake

Ingredients

One 1-pound package or bag light brown sugar
2 cups self-rising flour
½ cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened
3 eggs, beaten
1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups chopped pecans
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350?F. Lightly grease a 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

In a large bowl, mix together the brown sugar, flour, butter, eggs, coconut, vanilla, pecans, and chocolate chips until well combined. Spread the batter evenly in the prepared pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until a toothpick inserted through the middle comes out clean. Cool the cake completely in the pan before cutting it into squares.

A friend on facebook recently mentioned that her toddler daughter’s favorite song is Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain.” She sings it to her as a lullaby every night and often catches the little girl singing it during the day as she goes through her various activities.

It got me thinking about lullabies I sang to my kids. I usually sang songs that I learned from my grandmother, many of which I later found out were from popular musicals. “Bushel and a Peck” from Guys and Dolls, is one. Another is K-K-K-Katy, originally a WWI song that I’m pretty sure she picked up from a movie with Betty Grable called, “Tin Pan Alley” and of course you can probably imagine which child heard that one – a lot, my darling Katie. “K-k-k Katy, beautiful Katy, you’re the only only girl that I adore.”

Of course, Katie is a doll and the song fits her perfectly and she’s the easiest of all three of my children. I can’t gush enough about my wonderful redhead.

Then Miss Margaret came along, all blue-eyed, blonde and angelic looking. I’m pretty sure we just sang stuff like “Back in Black” and “You Shook Me” by AC/DC. It’s the only explanation I have.

I’m joking, I sang to Miss Maggie but I mostly remember her happily perched in her bouncy seat listening to her father and brother play guitar to those songs. That’s her attitude, she just bolts through life like a bull through a china closet taking no prisoners and having no regrets. Oh, to have that energy and that zest for life!

The other day Maggie told us she wanted to be a ninja/dog groomer. Ethan is still holding out hope she’ll become a super, secret spy/assassin for the government. If you watch “Bones” at all… Ethan is sort of our resident Hodgins. I emphasize “sort of” because Ethan loses his mind around bugs and slime and whatnot, it’s mainly the deep suspicion of the government and various conspiracy theories that are near and dear to his heart. Which is odd, because I don’t recall singing anything strange to him.

You should have heard Ethan during the whole “swine flu” fiasco! Of course, Mike still swears he had “swine flu” the time he ate some questionable fish tacos from a restaurant when he was out of town. I had to explain to him that just because he ate like a pig and got sick – did not make it swine flu!

Speaking of viruses… the dreaded “V” word of the internet world. I’m curious – what virus protection are you using? AVG? Norton? McAfee? Dear God, personally I wouldn’t be caught dead using Norton or McAfee! Anyone using Trend Micro – trend micro voucher codes?