I turned 36 last week. Seriously, 36… and I’m just not vain enough to lie about my age. Mostly because I’m not noticing any new wrinkles or crow’s feet and I’m okay that the reason for this is simply because my face is just pudgy enough to fill them out.

Gray hairs… nope. None of those, thankfully. Although, who could tell, considering my stylist talked me into a platinum blonde streak (just one, bold and up front) and a few, ahem, teal peek-a-boo chunks hidden underneath here and there.

I’m happy, it’s cheaper than a sports car, boob lift, younger boyfriend and far more exciting than a rest home. ( Elder Care Portland )

I’m thinner this year than I have been in probably oh… 4 years at least. In fact, all my jeans are my skinny jeans even if skinny is in the eye of the beholder.

What did I do for this momentous occasion?

Earlier this month my husband gifted me with an early present, a Kindle Fire. One of my dearest friends, Chickie, sent me a box full of the most delicious smelling bath bombs on the planet just barely outdoing the shotglass/necklace and dancing chicken card from last year!

On my birthday my husband made me dinner and I was presented with a gift that almost got me a little teary. Non-plant people probably won’t get this… but through the years I’ve always had “dream plants” my husband always smiles and usually goes along with whatever I want to grow at the time. I’ve had beautiful hydrangeas, roses, butterfly bushes and crepe myrtles all gifts for my birthday, Mother’s Day or Easter.

But the Holy Grail, for me anyway, has always been a lilac tree. Holy Grail, indeed, I even found an old post mentioning my desire for a lilac tree:

My great grandmother used to say that the best cure for a headache was putting your hands in the dirt. She was absolutely right. What I would give to have the lilac tree that my grandmother transplanted to her backyard from my great grandmother’s yard!

My grandmother had a lilac tree in the backyard and it was easily one of my favorites of her plants. I knew she had grown it as a cutting from her mother and I believe it was from an original tree in Oklahoma. I had never really seen them around here or available at nurseries and so had given up on ever having one of my own.

Until a few weekends ago when a sunny day sent me perusing the garden section at Lowe’s. They had a huge selection of bare root lilacs. I sort of looked like Agnes in that scene from Despicable Me with the unicorn, there was all sorts of gasping and ooo’ing and ahh’ing and “I MUST HAVE THIS!!!!!!”

Mike grumbled, began asking questions like, where was I going to plant it? How big would it get? Was it going to be like that butterfly bush that has to be fought back from eating his redwoods 200 times a year?

My husband deserves a Golden Globe or Oscar or something because I barely spoke to him for the rest of the day for “dashing my dreams” and his follow up to the act at Lowe’s was to pretend he didn’t notice how annoyed I was with him.

Fast forward to my birthday when I was presented with what Maggie described as “an AMAZING CARD!!!!” which was a giant pop-up card with all sorts of cute, cartoon animals on it. I was later told it took her almost 45 minutes to pick out my birthday card (she took her assignment VERY seriously) and she probably molested every card with a puppy, kitty or other cute animal on it in the stands before selecting this card for it’s unique “pop up” feature.

After much time spent ooo’ing and aaah’ing (I do a ridiculous amount of this, no?) my TRULY AMAZING CARD (just in case Maggie reads this) I was presented with a lilac tree. Not just any lilac, but one my husband and daughter spent about as much time as Maggie with the birthday card, selecting just for me.

I’m really proud of it, but I’m going to spare you a full length picture because it’s only about 18″ tall and is essentially some sticks on a very short, skinny trunk. BUT… check out this beauty of a bud!!!!

I might have some LEAVES this year!!!!!!!

Maggie is 8 years old now. I cannot believe it. In fact, I am in denial so deeply that it has taken me over a week to write this post when her birthday is actually on New Year’s Day.

She fell asleep early and didn’t make midnight on New Year’s Eve. The next morning we made breakfast, loaded up in the car and drove up to Glenville, CA to go hiking, eat pizza and watch Maggie enjoy a ginormous piece of home made banana cream pie. I will tell you that no banana cream pie I have ever had comes close to the pie up at Hassano’s in Glenville.

Maggie is a unique combination of Mike and I. Mike likes to say that she has his sense of humor and my temper which = laugh at my jokes or I’ll kill you. It’s mostly true, although my temper really isn’t that bad and rarely do you have to threaten anyone to laugh at one of Mike’s jokes.

Maggie is mostly just her own unique self. While her parents wage a facebook debate on whether or not right or left socks exist (Mike believes in them religiously, Kate and I find it ridiculous and our friends seem to be split down the middle), Maggie hates to wear socks at all and can often be found jamming her feet into her Ugg boots barefoot.

Like her sister, she hates asparagus but loves broccoli. Unlike her sister, she isn’t fond of sushi but will threaten to cut anyone trying to take a bite of her shrimp fried rice. She insists on “salad” (usually fresh spinach) on every sandwich, but isn’t a fan of salads on their own unless we’re out at a restaurant. She’s not a big fan of peanut butter and jelly. She considers it a tragedy not to have a bowl of chicken noodle soup (even in the dead heat of summer) with her sandwiches. And, almost without fail, she insists on a doggy bag every time we go out to eat because “it’s so good I want to have it for breakfast or maybe later tonight for a snack!”

Maggie is the animal activist of the house. When her scorpion died a few months ago she sobbed for most of the day. Weeks and even months later she will tear up remembering Luke. Almost every night of summer vacation was spent chasing her turtle, Joe, around and fishing him out of our pond. Cut to this winter when a field mouse managed to find its way into the house and I discovered a different side of Maggie.

Maggie was very interested in the mouse traps. I was concerned that perhaps she didn’t realize what a mouse trap would really do to the intruder. Maggie overheard me voicing my concern to Mike (who was getting ready to show Maggie how a trap is set and how it works) she flew around the corner and said, “MOM! I’ve watched EVERY FREAKIN’ EPISODE of Billy the Exterminator! I KNOW how a mouse trap works!”

Later that night… “MOM!!! We caught him! He’s dead… he was so cute, I almost feel bad. They are dirty creatures…”

Not too long ago Maggie gave me a nickname, Mother Kadam (KUH-dam) Pooskie, no clue where or how she came up with it, but it cracks me up. She told Katie once, “If you call mom, Mother Kadam Pooskie, she almost always says yes.” Maggie isn’t really manipulative as much as she just calls a spade a spade and works the system to her advantage whenever possible.

Today my little 8 year old is still on Christmas break and managed to come down with a nasty cold to finish off her winter vacation. She has spent her day tucked in quilts on the couch, dozing, sipping hot cider and watching cartoons. Every once in a while I’ll hear, “Mother Kadam Pooskie…” followed by a request of the usual sick child variety. As usual, she’s working the system to her advantage, it’s an enviable life, that’s for sure.

I’m all about nurturing the self-esteem of my children. No really, I am. You know, when it’s necessary and all that jazz.

Normally, I would give pause and really become concerned about what telling a story involving a burn that looks like a hickey might do to the child with the burn-that-looks-like-a-hickey. Except, the moral of the story (yes, even burns-that-look-like-hickeys have morals) is that said wearer of said offensive burn clearly has solid self-esteem. Here’s how I know that now:

Katie was curling her hair with her ginormous, super hot curling iron that does not curl her hair all that well but does, in fact, burn her skin brilliantly. We found out later at the hair salon that everyone has done this, it’s awesomely funny and yes, Katie needs a curling iron that gets far hotter than the one she has. We need the hair to curl and the burns to blister instantly to avoid burns-that-look-like-hickeys and also, your mother writing blog posts like this. Moving on.

A side note to this story is that I am taking my life in my own hands writing it. This was more of a subconscious fear until Katie walked through the room in her crazy plaid pajama pants and I broke out in a cold sweat hoping she might not ask what I am typing so furiously over here in my little corner.

Our story begins in the bathroom one morning as Katie was getting ready for school. Katie was curling her hair with the crappy, but super hot curling iron and she burned her neck. Not enough to blister, because everyone knows hickeys do not blister, but enough to leave a rosy, red blotch on her neck.

Surprisingly, kids in high school do not care if you have a red blotch on your neck, under your ear. Not because everyone is sporting them but because hickeys are just so darn cliche` and “The Breakfast Club” called and would like their teen angst and fake ID back.

Guess who does care? Your father picking you up from school. Not because he thinks you have a real hickey but because you complain you have a giant burn that looks like a hickey.

Mike asked, “Do you want to run some errands with me?”

“Sure.” Kate replied.

“Then you’ll have to cover up your hickey.”

Kate, not skipping a beat, “Bitch, take me home.”

So you see, my child is not lacking in self-esteem. Even with a hickey-burn which has now faded to a lovely golden crisp that no longer resembles a hickey.

A conversation on Facebook last night… regurgitated here for your amusement.

Amy: “Maggie don’t touch that… Put it down… Don’t touch that!!!” …

And… guess who just ripped out a hunk of her hair jacking around with one of those “spring” hair removers?

Marissa: Ow!


Amy: She’s okay… She’s Maggie which = supernatural resilience and thank God, no bald spot.


Kari: I’d like to say that now she knows better and next time will listen to you when you tell her not to do something… but really she probably needed the hair follicles for some DNA replicating and she did it on purpose.


Amy: Now that you mention it… She did try to snatch the hair out of the spring and take off…


Marissa: Check her closet. All the good mad doctors have labs in their closet.


Kari: But she is pretty smart and knows that you would check the closet, so she would hide the entrance. But then she knows that you know she is pretty smart and would guess that she would hide it some place other than the closet… so it just may be there!

Marissa: Good Lord, is she Sicilian too?!

Kari: Inconceivable!

Marissa: Amy, watch your drinks for Iocaine powder.

Kari: and never get involved in a land war in Asia!

Marissa: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Amy: LMAO – and now I finally have a blog post. Thank you Goddesses of FB.

Marissa: hehehe- that’s what we’re here for!

For the record, The Princess Bride is a classic and it’s perfectly acceptable that three grown women would quote it in a regular conversation. Then again, conversations about Maggie are rarely ever “regular”.

I’m turning a blind eye to the recent winter storm spring rain that has blown through here over the last 24 hours. Today it’s sunny and the skies are blue and clear, I haven’t gone outside yet but I have it on good authority that it’s really chilly for April.

Blind eye… so yeah, I’m inside, looking out at the beautiful weather and I’m planning spring updates to my yard. Maggie’s summer 2011 adventures are going to include… get this… a teepee. The sandbox her father and brother built for her is now being transformed into a platform for a teepee.

Originally, Maggie had delusions that she was Richie Rich or something and was requesting something roughly in the neighborhood of her own condo in the backyard. Her list of demands requests included: a refrigerator, television, DVD player, Wii or Xbox (love the flexibility), and a snoopy snow cone machine.

What she is getting is a solid platform, teepee and unlimited use of her extensive imagination. But, if she plays her cards right I might throw in some solar powered twinkle lights and a brand new LED lantern.

The new teepee will be positioned over the old sandbox, under a beautiful redwood tree and right near the wine barrel fountain that contains the wild trout of death.

Around the same time we will be spreading out a new batch of landscape mulch. Something dark and woodsy looking that smells great right after the sprinklers have run through their cycle and the 105+ degree heat turns the backyard into a humid jungle just as the sun is setting.

The front yard needs to be mulched as well but I’m actually considering some sort of eco-friendly, recycled rubber mulch maybe something like RubberecyclePlaysafer Rubber Mulch. It’s just a thought. At the moment we have the original hideous red mulch that originally came in our front yard and I hate it. The longer it is out in the sun the lighter and more orangey-red it becomes. It’s unnatural looking and it’s got to go. As soon as possible.

Saturday we watched the clouds roll in and out. Mike and I were out running errands and debating whether or not to pick up a few packs of pansies and violas to plant in the front yard because we had no idea whether or not we’d end up with dry enough weather to enjoy planting them with the kids.

Mid-afternoon serendipity struck giving the girls and I just enough time to sink a lovely border of spring colored beauties along the front flower bed. I think I might head out to another nursery this weekend to pick up more because the border is still a little too sparse for my taste. I’ll have to keep my fingers crossed for more decent weather because according to the forecast we have storms coming in. I’m really tired of winter and very much looking forward to spring.

It’s not the rain I’m tired of us a much as it is the chilly temps. I’ve had enough of “curl up by the fire” weather and am really looking forward to “get out in the sunshine” weather instead. Mike and Maggie are campaigning hard to get the rest of the family to go along with their plan to attend a catfish fishing derby. I’m less than thrilled with the idea but Maggie seems to have caught the fishing bug and is determined to go.

At the moment I’m trying to ignore the seeming coincidence between my trip to the doctor last week for an annual physical and the odd cough I’ve developed this week. There is something inherently wrong with a basic “well” physical resulting in a cold. I just need to keep Mike from noticing it because he leaps on any excuse to make soup in ginormous batches. It’s difficult to tell the difference between “comfort” food and “favorite” food when it comes to soup, sandwiches and Mike.

In case you didn’t know, I boycott the StuporBowl. Seriously. I know that makes me all anti-American and what-not, I’m totally okay with it. I sort of have the same feeling about it that Zube Girl does, which actually makes me feel better about my whole boycotting thing.

I’m just going to go right along and assume this means you are totally curious as to what I might have been doing instead of eating nachos, chili, chips and dips or whatever else is popular at SuperBowl parties these days. No fears! I’m totally ready to tell you complete with pictures!

It just so happens that earlier this week I caught an episode of Paula Deen’s show, Paula’s Best Dishes, on FoodNetwork and decided I had to make Chewy Cake. I am a huge Paula Deen fan and I’ve honestly never made a recipe of hers that didn’t turn out phenomenally and become a requested item around the ol’ casa.

So, Sunday afternoon Katie and I headed into the kitchen to whip up a batch of Chewy Cake. Around here we usually stick to desserts and treats that are built around chocolate. This one had chocolate but that wasn’t the main theme of this dessert. The ingredients really all work together so that there isn’t one particular flavor or item that stands out more than others, which is good considering it has both coconut and pecans and I wouldn’t classify either of those as favorites of mine.

I’m so glad I decided to make this. It’s so decadent, chewy, delicious and best of all, easy to make! The batter is a little stiff and sticky but it’s not hard to work with. If you are wanting to pile them up on a plate all pretty, then definitely let them cool. Katie and I aren’t big on waiting and we like just about any dessert fresh out of the oven and as warm and gooey as possible.

This reminded me of Tollhouse Pie as soon as I tried it so I had to pull the ice cream out of the freezer and Katie grabbed the chocolate syrup and the end result was this:

Chewy Cake ala Mode

and one more pic because, trust me, this is so worth appreciating:

Chewy Cake ala Mode

And, here is the recipe if you are inclined to whip up a batch yourself. I highly recommend it, it got rave reviews from everyone in the house!

Paula Deen’s Chewy Cake

Ingredients

One 1-pound package or bag light brown sugar
2 cups self-rising flour
½ cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened
3 eggs, beaten
1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups chopped pecans
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350?F. Lightly grease a 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

In a large bowl, mix together the brown sugar, flour, butter, eggs, coconut, vanilla, pecans, and chocolate chips until well combined. Spread the batter evenly in the prepared pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until a toothpick inserted through the middle comes out clean. Cool the cake completely in the pan before cutting it into squares.

A friend on facebook recently mentioned that her toddler daughter’s favorite song is Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain.” She sings it to her as a lullaby every night and often catches the little girl singing it during the day as she goes through her various activities.

It got me thinking about lullabies I sang to my kids. I usually sang songs that I learned from my grandmother, many of which I later found out were from popular musicals. “Bushel and a Peck” from Guys and Dolls, is one. Another is K-K-K-Katy, originally a WWI song that I’m pretty sure she picked up from a movie with Betty Grable called, “Tin Pan Alley” and of course you can probably imagine which child heard that one – a lot, my darling Katie. “K-k-k Katy, beautiful Katy, you’re the only only girl that I adore.”

Of course, Katie is a doll and the song fits her perfectly and she’s the easiest of all three of my children. I can’t gush enough about my wonderful redhead.

Then Miss Margaret came along, all blue-eyed, blonde and angelic looking. I’m pretty sure we just sang stuff like “Back in Black” and “You Shook Me” by AC/DC. It’s the only explanation I have.

I’m joking, I sang to Miss Maggie but I mostly remember her happily perched in her bouncy seat listening to her father and brother play guitar to those songs. That’s her attitude, she just bolts through life like a bull through a china closet taking no prisoners and having no regrets. Oh, to have that energy and that zest for life!

The other day Maggie told us she wanted to be a ninja/dog groomer. Ethan is still holding out hope she’ll become a super, secret spy/assassin for the government. If you watch “Bones” at all… Ethan is sort of our resident Hodgins. I emphasize “sort of” because Ethan loses his mind around bugs and slime and whatnot, it’s mainly the deep suspicion of the government and various conspiracy theories that are near and dear to his heart. Which is odd, because I don’t recall singing anything strange to him.

You should have heard Ethan during the whole “swine flu” fiasco! Of course, Mike still swears he had “swine flu” the time he ate some questionable fish tacos from a restaurant when he was out of town. I had to explain to him that just because he ate like a pig and got sick – did not make it swine flu!

Speaking of viruses… the dreaded “V” word of the internet world. I’m curious – what virus protection are you using? AVG? Norton? McAfee? Dear God, personally I wouldn’t be caught dead using Norton or McAfee! Anyone using Trend Micro – trend micro voucher codes?

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post about Maggie. Shall I catch you up a bit? She’s no where near her desired position of “World Ruler” but she’s gaining ground. Currently, she’s learning Spanish, I suspect Italian will be next followed by French and then God knows what but I really doubt it will be Latin unless her plan is to make it the new world language and then eliminate anyone without the mental capacity to learn it fluently.

If so, I’m sure I have some pull with her and in which case, I’ve got a list of people to spare and an even longer list of people to put at the front of the other line. Said line will probably follow her sister’s plan which goes something like:

“a rather long list of people to be punched is being formed… I will need a long line with one of those annoying zig-zag things like at Magic Mountain..”

If anything, Maggie has just become more resourceful and school has given her the ability to read – which is only a good thing when discussing children who don’t want to rule the world, hoard animals and torture unsuspecting family members. Let’s be honest, everyone suspects and Maggie doesn’t care if we do or not.

The other night Mike was finishing off the remnants of soup from lunch because he cannot stand for anything to go to waste. I finally shouted from the other room, “If I hear any more slurping I am going to break something!” Then I saw Maggie run into the kitchen… she didn’t want soup, she just saw an opening. Her plan was to slurp loudly to see exactly what I might do to her father. Thank God he caught on because I was already picking up my stapler.

Later on (same evening) she was loudly trouncing her brother while playing Mario Kart and Mike was on the phone a room away but within unfortunate earshot. It was clear that Maggie was totally and completely swept up in the moment when I heard her shriek (and simultaneously Mike’s eyes bulged and his chair sucked right up his arse), “AHA! Take THAT BITCH!!!!!!”

Thank goodness it was not a serious phone call, just someone wanting to buy some fishing poles Mike had listed on Craig’s List. Let’s face it, men and fishing poles, there is a solid chance Maggie’s scream wasn’t even a blip on his radar. Wish I could say the same for her father, although he must not have been that fazed by it because he got off the phone and said, “I’ve got someone coming over to look at my pole!”

And, yes, I snorted and giggled like a 13 year old.

I haven’t done a meme around here in a while and this one sounded like fun. Okay, maybe it’s just fun for me but, if you are interested at all in what’s on my ipod these days then here you go. And, of course, while my children have iPod touches and what-not I have a very simple iPod Nano in a lovely blue that was a Christmas present from my husband years ago. It’s not all modern and “Ooo, la la, touch me but don’t scratch my screen!!!” but I love it anyway.

Okay, the rules are as follows (if you are so inclined to join me either on your own blog or in the comments below):

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

Ever the rebel, I am flipping the bird to rule #3 ONLY in regards to Christmas music. As much as I love Christmas and all that music – I’m a tad burned out so I’ll skip holiday tunes if they pop up. Cut me some slack it’s like January 8th, I’ve got at least 8 months to work up my Christmas carol enthusiasm again.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Mama Kin – Aerosmith

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Petite Fleur – Harry Connick Jr.

WHAT IS LIFE’S PURPOSE?
I Get A Kick Out of You – Frank Sinatra

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Michael Buble

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Turn Me On – Norah Jones

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
El-Shaddai – Amy Grant

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
You Brought A New Kind of Love To Me – Frank Sinatra

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Times Like These – Jack Johnson

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lead Me On – Amy Grant

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Banana Pancakes – Jack Johnson

WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
‘s Wonderful – Ella Fitzgerald

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
We’ve Only Just Begun – The Carpenters

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
What’d I Say – Ray Charles

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Good Ol’ Boys – Willie Nelson

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Red Wine, Mistakes, Mythology – Jack Johnson

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra