*WARNING*
For those of you who are new around here or are under the impression that I am a nice person. I just want you to know that I am, but I am about to lose my shit in the following paragraphs and I just don’t want you to hold it against me. You’ve been warned. - Oh, and fair warning, sarcastic comments probably won’t be looked at kindly today. Just so you know.

You know what? I’m goddamn done being the nice guy, being the bigger person. And so help me God, someone is going to pay for this garbage in a big, fat, ugly, ass raped, burn for eternity in hell kind of way.

We do not have a home owner’s association. Thank God, around here they are pretty much nothing but trouble and complete bullshit.

My front yard? Is immaculate. I’d post pictures but I’m too fucking pissed to go outside right now, because if IF I see a neighbor look at me so much as slightly crossway I’m going to light their ass up bigger than any fucking 4th of July barbecue.

My backyard? IMMACULATE. Slightly immature, but what do you expect for a yard that is only a year old?

We have a 1964 Chevy truck in our driveway. It won’t fit in the garage, it’s 4-wheel drive, and primer gray. We don’t drive it because a.) it’s my son’s truck, waiting for time for he and his father to make it pretty again (also it was owned by my FIL originally and passed down to Mike) and b.) umm, it doesn’t have appropriate seat belts and WHY in God’s name would we drive it around when we have two vehicles of our own and our son does not have a license yet, hmmm? Essentially, it’s a classic that just needs to be restored.

Some stupid, fucking, cockwadding, asswiping, numbfuck, twatsicle neighbor called to complain to the city about the truck and the two bantam chickens in the backyard. Oh yes, the TWO, TINY chickens in the backyard that control unwanted pests and are totally a GREEN FRIENDLY SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT (there is currently a bill they are trying to get passed to allow this for home gardeners) alternative to spraying chemicals around our children and further polluting the planet.

The guy from the city? Thought it was funny actually. Considering there are train tracks nearby and non-fucking stop construction from the construction crews who refuse to wait until their 7am start time to start building the fucking houses on the lots that line the back of our property. He walked into a lovely backyard with butterflies buzzing around, daylilies in bloom, and two adorable chickens nesting under the butterfly bush.

Two chickens that I have to get rid of TODAY and THEN call this guy back out to ensure that we did it.

If I find out which neighbor it was - God help them. I will make their lives a living hell.

How about the neighbors in the cul-de-sac who have lined their fucking front porch with hideous looking plants and LEFT THEM in the ugly black containers from the nursery so it looks like a weed (and not the good kind) factory behind their stupid ass looking fountain and house that they have fronted with four different kinds of mismatched rocks that looks like a design nightmare straight from hell.

Or perhaps the neighbor two doors over with the 8 foot weed in her front bed and backyard that is nothing but dirt - when our purchase contracts state that we have to put in a backyard within a year of occupying the property?

Oh wait.. or maybe the neighbors behind us who threw a big ass party with cars lined up and down the streets and then several party goers pulled up with a flat bed trailer and started loading up lumber from the construction site? (Mike called the police on that one)

Or the neighbor across the street who NEVER MOVED in and has 6 foot weeds in the backyard and beds overflowing with weeds in the front yard?

Oh wait, let’s not even mention the stupid fucks in the cul-de-sac who bought a house that is terra cotta and GRAY only to paint the door flaming fucking twat-wad red? Hmmmm?

Or the nine houses on the streets around us where no one is mowing their damn lawn?

Or the house next door that is not foreclosed on (YET) and the backyard has HUGE weeds growing in it that I have to look at every time I fucking go out on the deck.

OR the fucking neighbor two doors over with 3 full size Dobermans (and at least one more small dog) that bark NON FUCKING STOP? It’s not even legal to have that many dogs here and why would you put 3 HUGE dogs in a tiny dog run in a tiny backyard anyway? And the BARKING? Did I mention the constant BARKING?

But NO, immaculate front yard and very pretty backyard owning US - get harassed.

I’m livid. I love this house but all the neighbors can go suck a rotten cock for all I care.

UPDATE
Although not much of one. Mike was in contact with another gentleman (from the same part of town we are in) who has close to an acre (zoned for livestock) where he has bunnies and bantam chickens. He is more than happy to come and pick up Hank and Chickie. We’re just happy to have found a home that will treat them as kindly as we have. Although, that is little consolation. I’m going to miss going out and talking to Chickie and petting her. She coos so pretty when you pet her.

Of course, this does little to quell my deep desire for revenge. I’m trying to work through the anger but it’s pretty hard. My neighbor next door couldn’t believe it. She’s of the “Nancy Drew” nature, so maybe she’ll find something out. As it stands, I can’t say for sure it’s a neighbor, maybe it was one of the builder’s employees, maybe it was someone in the sales office, it could just have been some “Johnny Rulebook” who happened to walk by.

But, if I find out who it was…

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You know, there are always things that you wish you could say but don’t for whatever reasons. I finally decided to get a few things off my chest.

__(’Read the rest of this entry »’)

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Tax day. The day when the government bends you over and leaves the lube on the shelf.

I’m enraged this year. I was enraged last year as well - but THIS year, I might just lose it. After the royal hosing we got last year we took everyone’s advice. Well, everyone who said that we should take our stuff to a CPA.

We did.

We are still getting fucked. Royally. Worse than last year. WORSE.

Once again I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall and what might one do when one feels one has hit a brick wall? (possibly not use the word “one” 9 million times in one sentence, but I digress…)

One blogs. *insert eye roll*

So, Mike called and gave me the news. I played the dutiful wife, supportive, strong, without emotion. Then I got off the phone and started to cry. Why? Cry first… get that out of the way and then start getting proactive. Only, I was too pissed to be proactive. So, what do I do when I am too pissed to be proactive? I garden.

I picked up my trusty hula-hoe and went through the flower beds like a sailor on leave with a pocket full of cash. WTF-ever that means. When that little nagging voice in the back of my head said, “Fuck the beds, Amy, in a few months you might not even have a fucking house.” I choked back yakking I strangled that little voice back until it’s eyeballs popped out and then I gave some spurge the hoeing of it’s life.

This is just how things go for me. I hula-hoed until my lungs felt like they might burst. Then I grabbed my trusty rake and promptly got a HUGE splinter in my hand for the trouble. It’s days like this that a huge splinter feels like an entire toothpick. Ignoring the pain in my hand I trudged along, determined to show those beds a weeding like they had never seen before.

Two rakes in… the head fell of the rake. I will take no responsibility for this. The rake is obviously to blame and is clearly a piece of shit. I slammed the head back on the rake and hung it up. Determined not to let a rake get the best of me, I turned my attention to the garden hose. I watered my geranium, scared the dog, and almost gave Ethan the soaking of his life…. that last part was an accident. Wait… so was scaring the dog. Poor thing. He’s getting old too.

Still determined to show that I was not about to be beat down by… the government? The universe? God himself/herself? Pfft. I turned my attention to the pile of laundry that Ethan had left outside his bedroom door.

Washer running… what next?

Oh yes, that little task in the back of my mind. That’s right, canceling the reservations for our anniversary. My 10th anniversary, down the tubes. The beautiful room with pubs within walking distance in Monterey. Yep, that one. Gone.

That one got me. I bawled. A lot. I kept staring at the confirmation page in disbelief. And, when the lovely lady from the hotel emailed me to tell me how sorry she was we wouldn’t be able to make it, I bawled some more. Sure, she was just showing customer service, but to me it was the first drops of human kindness I’d seen since the government pulled the gang rape of the century on my family.

There just isn’t enough tequila in the world to get over that one. Which is, of course, where I went next. Only we were out of limes. It occurred to me that this was, indeed, the day from hell. But, we had lemons! And, when life serves up lemons? That’s right. You slice the little fuckers up and go at the bottle of tequila like a couple of teenagers at the drive-in. (OMG, these crappy analogies are KILLING ME!)

Just as I was printing out my cancellation confirmation, Mike arrived, with wine. This constituted a wine night to him… I don’t know why that struck me as funny, but it did. He needed wine and I was going straight for the produce and tequila. I think my strategy is far more effective, myself.

That’s about the time I started getting the idea for this post. And, just as I was mid-typing storm Mike wandered through the room singing, ala Spaceballs, “Nooobody knows the trouble I’ve seeeeeeeen…” and oddly enough, I wanted to stab him in the forehead with a ballpoint pen. Instead I let him live only to hear him reading my post title in some strange voice. He may have lost his mind at this point, I’m not sure, but I’m damn sure that this day constitutes an, “Every man/woman for his/herself” and the last time I checked there was no “Life Preserver” stamped on my ass.

Completely typical of a high stress situation, I whirled around, eyes shooting flames (and probably that odd sheen that tequila brings) and said, “How DARE you READ over my shoulder!!!! How DARE YOU!!!!” He looked a little stunned, honestly. I pretended to ignore him and muttered, “Just shut up and leave me ALONE!”

It’s not like he had to put our anniversary to sleep like a beloved pet. (Holy jeebus, fucking analogies)

The thing is… even after all of that I’m STILL fucking pissed. All I’ve heard about are tax rebates and this bullshit stimulus package and yet, all I’ve seen is that if you bust your ass work hard and own your own business - they are going to seriously fuck you for it. The government wants SHEEPLE, man, NOT free thinkers. *insert copious amounts of swearing, use your imagination, it’s probably cleaner*

And, - if that hasn’t been YOUR experience, I really don’t want to hear about it today, k? I’ve already had to hear the neighbors talk about how as soon as their rebate check comes in they are off on a romantic trip together.

:boom:

Yes, this is a ‘poor me’ post. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m constantly 3 steps forward 4 steps back. I’m just worn out - I’m tired of busting my ass and just not feeling like I am gaining any ground at all.

I’m tired, I’m angry, I’m worried, and I’m just flat-out scared. But, most of all I am thoroughly disgusted with our government because to me this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

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You know, high school was bad enough the first time, I’m not sure why anyone would want to go back. But, it seems as if that is exactly what has happened in some circles. Have you seen some of the hate speech running around the internetz (using terms that the exceptionally deranged and moronic will understand here)? And, some of you are running around kissing ass to one particular hate-monger and you guys look like dorks trying to get into the popular clique at school.

Although, I’ll be honest and sincerely hope that this particular hate-monger and myself do not share a readership - although I suspect we do, and that’s fine too. Either way the shared percentage would have to be incredibly tiny since I have heard rumors that a certain blog seems to be dwindling in readership - and if that is the case, then this post might be closing the barn door after the cow has gotten out.

And, quite frankly, I also know that the people who see this for what it is probably don’t air that opinion because it would be doing what I am doing now - bringing more attention to it and some things are really better left in a deep dark hole.

As for others, shame on you for pretending to be adults. I would seriously have thought that the fact that these hate-mongers hide in anonymity would stand out as a glaring red flag! And they don’t maintain anonymity because they are afraid of what friends and family might read (but, OMG, if I were spreading this kind of garbage, I’d be ashamed of myself and want to be anonymous too) but because they are too weak and pathetic to actually stand up for their “beliefs” and back their opinions up.

And, I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you but saying, “I just call ‘em as I see ‘em” is not, in fact, backing up your opinion. It’s a poor attempt at excusing poor behavior and absolute vile callousness.

People like this hide behind monitors and in caves and things… just pulling strings and causing problems just for the fun of it, and the fact that it has become acceptable socially, or at the very least not publicly disapproved of - says more about the human race than I care to think about.

Take a look around, the people that this hate-monger goes after the hardest are the people who actually put something on the line when they state a thought or opinion because they aren’t anonymous. Right now, anyone with even the slightest initiative could find me. My address, my phone number. No problem. But, at least there is a face, name, and factual information that stands behind every opinion I might have and elect to expose here on my blog with complete honesty and no anonymity.

What I want you people to really focus on - since you are soooo quick to jump sides and glorify the psychotically deranged - read comments that this person has left on OTHER blogs. Don’t just take the crazy rantings from posts. Seriously, m’kay? Show some initiative and inform yourself.

I know that without much effort you’ll find lies, inconsistencies, and outright malicious bullshit. Worse yet, you’ll find weak-minded sheeple running along behind and encouraging, complimenting, and worse yet the saddest comment of all, “I wish I were more like you.”

Dear God, say it ain’t so. Blech.

I don’t know about you, but quite frankly, I for one am completely against a man beating the shit out of his wife regardless of her level of faithfulness, violence is never an answer. But, there are some around here who think that is justified and that it is perfectly acceptable; this, my friends, is what is wrong with society. Well, partly anyway.

And, I don’t know about you, but just because someone has a drink once in a while and is happily (and faithfully married, which OMG is supposed to be a GOOD thing) does not make that person a “gutterslut” but it does make the small-minded person who said that a completely ignorant, dishonest individual with less integrity than a crack whore.

Then of course, I’m also not the kind of person who vilifies a person who elected to refrain from being anonymous and then uses his readership to actually help other people. Yup, I’d definitely label that person a sociopath, right about the same time I would label Habitat for Humanity volunteers as “stupid.” But, why should we be surprised that a hate-monger is more than happy to twist a good action into something nasty and wrong? What I am more surprised by is the (even though they are few) people who went out of their way to agree!

There is so much hatred and negativity in the world, know why that is? People like it, they LOVE it, they whack their monkeys off to it daily. But, it’s my birthday week and I am going to be optimistic… for a moment.

I believe that some of you are well-intentioned and just lack the forethought to actually investigate or REALLY read some of the crap that has been spread around our dear blogosphere. Do it… and you’ll see I’m right. You’ll see evidence of kicking people when they are down, lying, manipulation, causing problems where none existed before, simply starting shit JUST to start shit.

All I know is that each of us has a conscience and a mind, some of us choose to forgo the use of them, obviously, but for those of us who might just be “sleeping on the job” go read a few comments, investigate, and ask some questions. Don’t just blindly offer up accolades to a completely undeserving person. Especially when you can see that nothing beneficial or productive is coming from the callousness and outright nasty things that are being said.

I make it a point not to argue with crazy, at least once I realize how unstable the person I am dealing with is. But I do like to point out how stupid people are for listening to it and worse yet, agreeing. It seems that people will go out of their way to agree with the nastiness but no one wants to get their hands dirty to point out how nasty it actually is.

And, if we want to start tallying up moralistic views here - having a deep-seated/irrational loathing of “infidelity” does not mean you have morals or are a good person. The immoral acts completely outnumber the one, tiny, moral that this person actually has.

But, those of you who disagree are more than welcome to go cuddle up in your afghans and the bliss of ignorance that comes from allowing someone else to think for you and the burning desire to be liked and feel as if you belong to something. All I have to say to you is that your turn in the barrel is coming. Just ask people who would have sworn at one time that they were friends…

As for me, I gotta say, I don’t like posting things like this. I really don’t. Worse yet, it only stands to encourage the nasties from people and one person in particular is going to diddle herself to a bleeding, pulp just from the sheer joy that someone seemingly dedicated a post to her. That’s incredibly crass, but unfortunately true.

The sad thing is - crazy is as crazy does and in “crazy land” there is no such thing as bad publicity. When you look at the hurt that has been caused, the unnecessary attacks, the below the belt hits, the bully-type behavior, by God, someone, somewhere has to stand up and say that this type of behavior is unacceptable and disgusting. I guess since no one else is doing it - I will.

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