Had a wonderful lunch at my mom’s today. My cousin and her mom were over… my mom and her mother are ex-sister-in-laws (she was married to my mom’s brother). My mother’s brother is a psycho-nut-whack… but that’s a whole other story.

Anyway, there we were… two grandmas, two moms, and 5 kids, three of them mine. You get that much estrogen in a room and one subject will invariably come up, gynecologists. Seriously. You know it’s true. At some point, childbirth or obgyns come up.

So, my mother had a hysterectomy (hope she isn’t going to kill me for writing that, but come on, it’s 2005 we can talk about this stuff, right?) a few years ago. The doctor she went to, I think, is a jackass. He told me that Maggie was a fibroid tumor and not to get my hopes up that I was pregnant. I think someone like that is a jackass.

I also think men should NOT be allowed to be gynecologists… they don’t get what it is like to have female… uh… issues. At all. So, there is my political statement for the day, I am anti-male gynecologists.

My mom’s docter is very active in juvenile diabetes fundraising, etc. His son has juvenile diabetes, so he doesn’t do OB stuff, no deliveries, no prenatal. He just does annuals and hysterectomies. That’s neat and tidy, isn’t it? My mom said, he must have it pretty easy. I said, “Sure, if you have a problem he just takes it out. End of complaint.” My mom laughed and half-heartedly agreed.

My mom was still talking about her doctor with my cousin’s mom and I looked over at my cousin and said, “Look, the guy is a jackass, if you complain to much – he yanks your innerds (say it, it’s funny!) out.”

“Got PMS?” Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip! Uterus *gone* no problem.

“Hot flashes? We can fix that right up, give me two hours, you can have some morphine and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

I’m thinking that his wife is a royal hag and he just has to make up for it by *fixing* the rest of us.