Wow, my baby is just so darn grown up now. I mean… he’s worldly now, he’s experiencing things, and then… he’s coming home and telling me all about it.

Me: So how are you and K, doing?

Ethan: Great! It’s hard to believe it’s only been three months. I mean… I’ve had relationships where 5 weeks felt like 50 years.

Me: Oh… really. (stifling a laugh)

Ethan: Guess that’s one for your blog, huh, Mom?

Me: Probably.

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Ethan has a friend, B, that he met in 7th grade. Now they have some classes together in high school. B is a pretty funny kid in an Alex P. Keaton meets Ferris Beuler kind of way. The high schools don’t sell sodas anymore, so B, brings a twelve pack every day and sells them… he’s like a sugar/caffeine version of Al Capone. Only… less violent.

Ethan was telling us a few B stories tonight. My favorite was about B telling Ethan how he hit the P.E. teacher last year in the nuts with a line drive while they were playing baseball.

Ethan: What did Mr. N say?

B: (completely deadpan) Mr N said fuck.

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B: I’d make a great teacher. I’d be like, “What were you thinking? You’re a freaking dumbass. Come up here… now everyone, laugh at him. I think we should bring back the dunce cap, I’d be like, “hey moron, go sit in the corner and put on your dunce cap.”

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A kid walked into one of the classes wearing round glasses and sporting a messy, dark hairstyle. He casually scratched his neck a few times and looked around the room nervously…

Ethan’s friend: *elbowing Ethan and whispering* Look, Harry Potter on crack.