Except, I really don’t want to. Ok, maybe a little but certainly NOT because of my birthday.

The reason to cry? Well, once again I’ve managed to send a lovely tradition for this family right down the proverbial crapper. My grandmother, the most adored person in our family, died in 1984 when I was 8 years old. It sucked, she was my second mother and I worshipped her. My mother was her only daughter… so it became very important to my mom and I to do things that reminded us of her, often.

Let’s flashback to my wedding for a brief moment, please. Wait… maybe my mom’s wedding… forget it. When my mom got married she paused before she got to the alter to hand her mother a yellow rose. Beautiful, tear-jerker moment. When I got married, I made all the proper arrangements. My bouquet was a simple round of pink roses… and under the watchdog, eagle-eye of my mom. So I snuck a yellow rose complete with baby’s breath into the church and had my mom’s friend (who was acting as sort of the event coordinator) put it somewhere where she could hand it to me covertly as I entered the church. Fast forward to the event… I got to the top of the aisle and my mom’s friend was no where to be seen, in the chaos of the moment, she had forgotten the MOST IMPORTANT thing (aside from the ceremony) and that was the yellow rose. So, I had to give it to my mom AFTER the ceremony. First tradition down the tubes.

The day before my mom turned 30 her mother threw her a big party to celebrate the last day of her twenties. My mom wanted to do the same for me as well. My mom had planned to take me to a very nice restaurant for a “girls only” grown up evening to celebrate the last day of my twenties.

That would have been yesterday. Only, the night before Mike and I didn’t get any sleep because we were up with Maggie who was sick. I spent all yesterday morning at the doctor’s office and pharmacy. And, as any good mother knows, you just don’t leave your kid after she hasn’t slept for two nights, has swollen tonsils and is on antibiotics, at least not the first day she’s on antibiotics.

So there goes THAT tradition now… shot to hell. I seem to be very good at that sort of thing. I just hope that my mom realizes how important all of these traditions are to me and how much it meant even if they didn’t come to fruition as we would have liked for them to.

As for turning 30? See, I’ve spent the last 5 or 6 birthdays becoming horribly depressed and usually end up crying, ALL DAY. 29 was not so bad… and this year is even better. There are too many wonderful things going on in my life to waste time hung up on a silly number. Truth be told, I probably spent the past several birthdays grieving about 30 and now that it is here… voila` nothing more to grieve about.

Fact is, I am 30 years old. There I said it and nothing happened, the ground did not crack open and swallow me, the earth did not shake, I was not struck by lightening. I’ve got nothing but wonderful things to look forward to.

So there, big 3-0! Take that and kiss my ass! )

Yes, yes, I know, it’s not all that new now and a lot of my awesome regular readers have delivered plenty of compliments (thank you VERY much) and I’m certainly not fishing for anymore… because bad things happen when I fish.

Earlier this month as an “early birthday present” to myself I ordered a new blog design from Ginger Beck over at Baby Jane Blogs. This, of course, is the very same design you are enjoying now… isn’t it fabulous? I really wanted something that expressed a more personal side of me. I love old standards, big band, and just about everything from the 1940′s.

Kate Hepburn is (and always will be) my favorite actor, I even named my daughter, Kate, after her. I borrowed a title from one of her movies, “Woman of the Year” as the heading for the my profile section of my side bar there on the right. You might notice that all the headings are either titles to some of my favorite movies or songs, with the exception of the Rent My Blog space which is just a reference to movies in general. Anyway… I thought it might be fun to give a brief explanation for the new look and for the odd headings in the sidebar over there.

Typically, I don’t do these sorts of things… but after I took this little thing for fun and found out what the result was, well, it was just too funny to pass up.

You Are 30 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view – and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what’s to come… love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You’ve had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You’ve been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Related Tags: birthday, turning 30, 30th birthday, thirties, traditions, moms, weddings, party, grandmother