My hair has been through many, many incarnations. I’ve had it long and straight, long and spiral permed (that was the 80′s don’t judge!), and orange.

Orange.

Orange is what happens when someone with dark brown hair uses one of those summer lightening agents. What I was looking for a reddish tinge. I got orange. I’ll spare you pictures.

The following Halloween (oh, the irony!) I decided to go back to my natural color. Julia Louis Dreyfus was stumping for some hair coloring product and the shade looked right to me. This would mark the last time I considered a celebrity endorsement for my hair. I think it was called chestnut something or other. What I didn’t know was that my hair takes to dye like a dry sponge to a puddle.

I waited the for the time specified on the box eagerly anticipating my return to normal brown hair. I had gotten over my previous hatred of the shade and decided it suited me far better than orange.

I rinsed, dried and checked the mirror.

Remember those pics of Priscilla Presley in the 60′s? Yeah, that was the shade of my hair. Not warm brown, but jet “where are my go go boots and thick eyeliner” black. Ethan was almost 2 at the time and ran down the hall toward me… and screamed. He screamed the scream of “who are you and what have you done with my mother?” It was awful.

But eventually my hair went back to the natural brown hue that belongs on my head and I’ve never really dinked with color since. I’ve had warm caramel colored highlights (love those in the summer) and I did have one case of horrid, purple-red highlights that I’m glad I did once and will never do again. But, I’ve never really changed my entire head since the Priscilla Presley Halloween experience 15+ years ago.

Over the years I’ve finally learned how to make peace with my hair. I have straight hair. It’s not outrageously thick, it’s not wavy, it has an odd tweak on the right side when it hits a certain length, it grows quickly, and it works well with a straightening iron when the need arises.

I’ve chopped my hair off and grown it back out many times. I’m happiest with it short and choppy. I have my products (Chaz Dean) down to a root lifter, that Bed Head stuff in the questionably shaped hot pink bottle, a light wax, and hair spray. Most of which you won’t catch me using loads of so the bottles last me a long, long time. And I’ve chosen to disregard the opinions of people who prefer my hair other ways. At the end of the day it’s on my head and I’m the one who has to deal with it and either feel good about it or not.